Alexa
by Em2017
Summary: Edward had a twin sister who, by some miracle, didn't catch the Spanish Influenza in 1918. After years of thinking her entire family is dead, Alexa runs into her long lost brother and realizes the truth. This is her story. Spin-off of The Foster. Takes place in 1918 until after The Foster. Rated M for some sexual content and language
1. Normal Day

**Rating**

**M for language, violence, and sexual content. **

***Disclaimer: I do not own the original characters from the Twilight Saga! They belong to the great Stephenie Meyer!***

**Here is the first chapter of **_**Alexa**_**! Enjoy!**

**Chapter One: Normal Day (AlexaPOV)**

"Edward! Come on! We're going to be late!" I yelled up the stairs to my- annoying- twin brother. At least, that's what our parents told us. I didn't believe them.

"I'm coming, Lexie! Stop yelling." he chastised, bounding down the stairs with his backpack over his shoulder.

I stuck my tongue out at him, and he laughed. "Let's go to school." he muttered.

"Okay. Mother, Father! We are leaving!" I yelled, not knowing where they were.

Our mother, Elizabeth, came from the kitchen and into the foyer, wiping her hands clean on the apron she wore around her waist. Her bronze hair was pulled away from her face, allowing you to see her brilliant emerald eyes and amazing smile. Edward and I looked exactly like her- the only differences being that my hair was naturally curly, and you couldn't do anything with Edward's. Oh, that, and Edward was a man.

Mother embraced me gently and kissed my forehead before going over and repeating the sequence with Edward. "Be careful, okay? Lexie, are you coming straight home tonight or staying for study hall?"

Every Friday I'd stay at our high school to tutor younger children. It had always been something I loved- helping children, and I'd hoped to be a second grade teacher after I finished my schooling.

"I will be coming home. Marie is sick- her Mother told me yesterday."

"With what?" Mother asked, concerned.

"Her mother says that the doctor thinks it's the Spanish Influenza. But they are not sure yet." I answered.

The Spanish Influenza had been going around our hometown of Chicago as of late, and for right now, there was no cure.

Mother looked alarmed. "Do you feel well?" She put her cold hand to my cheek.

I laughed and took her palm off my face. "Mother, I'm fine."

"Okay… Come straight home, then, okay?" She turned to head back into the kitchen.

"Okay, Mother," Edward and I spoke at the same time. We looked over at each other and laughed.

Mother laughed along with us. "Okay, children. Go, go! You're going to be late if you don't start walking."

Edward and I walked out of our house and headed down the block to our school- West Chicago High School.

"What are your plans for today?" I asked him. No matter the fact that we were brother and sister, we were best friends, trusting no one else as much as we trusted the other. I told everything to Edward- well, most everything. There were just some things that a girl had to keep private. We had other friends, our own groups if you will, but we always sat at lunch together, on days that I didn't tutor we walked home at the same time. We were two peas in a pod- where you saw one, you'd most likely find the other.

Both of us were in all higher level classes than the rest of our close friends, so we had most of our classes together. That came in handy in case one of us forgot about a homework assignment.

Though I was a daddy's girl, my older brother was a close second. My mother and I were like best friends as well, but not as close as Edward and I were. And all of our family understood that. My brother came first, and I came first to him. End of story.

Edward shrugged in answer to my question. "Nothing, really." he answered. "We just have to study tonight for that biology test tomorrow… But that's it."

I nodded. "I studied some last night, but not as much as I probably should have."

He laughed. "Lexa, you could not study at all and still pass the test with flying colors!"

I shrugged and smiled. "That's true."

He knocked his shoulder into me. "Don't go getting a big head there, now, Sister." he laughed. "Well. An even bigger head, I should say." he laughed.

"Hey! Just because I know I can do certain things better than most people, doesn't mean that I have a big head!"

"Oh, yeah? What does it mean then?" He cocked his eyebrow at me.

"That I know what I'm talking about." I grinned.

He shook his head, rolled his eyes, and laughed, but didn't reply, for we had entered school property and were now being bombarded by our friends.

Catherine Woods was the first to approach me. She was blonde, had blue eyes, and her father was rich, so she always wore good quality dresses. But you'd never be able to tell that she was from money unless you'd been to her house. She doesn't act like she's the one everyone should be like. The exact opposite, actually. We had been friends since we were five, after she moved here from Atlanta.

Michelle Jones was next. She had light brown hair with dark brown eyes. She was middle class and actually grew up right down the street from where we lived, so we grew up together. Also considering she had a twin brother like I did, and was close to him- just not as much as Edward and I- the four of us always got together since there was no "odd-man-out," as you could say.

Edward's friends consisted of Michael Jones- Michelle's twin brother- and Clayton Williams. Both were middle class, and were really nice. Michael look like the boy version of Michelle, while Clayton looked more like Catherine, though, as far as they knew, they weren't related.

"Lexie, did you hear about-" Catherine started.

This is how it went every morning: Catherine would give me the days' events, who to look out for, what happened the night before, etcetera. How she figured out what had happened after school the day before was beyond me, but at least I knew who to go to whenever I needed to know if something was true or not.

The events she told me about were nothing but unusual. Nathaniel Benton was a very well-known man. He came from a known family; he was one of the wealthy families considering his father worked as a lawyer in a firm downtown. Nathaniel was well liked and girls always fawned over him. He had brown hair, and blue eyes; very handsome. For as long as I could remember, he'd only dated one girl in his life, and that was Marie Brooks. From what I'd heard, they grew up together, and even before they started courting, people considered them together. Marie looked a lot like Catherine, with blonde hair and blue eyes, and an overall pretty face. Her father worked for Nathaniel's in the same firm, so it was no wonder they were so close. Even though it appeared that they were close to the idea of marriage, they had called off the courtship.

Well, Nathaniel had.

"As far as I know, _they're_ the only ones who know why it was called off. Their parents didn't like it, but apparently, Nathaniel has been asking for them to just be friends for a spell, now." Catherine summarized. "Marie's probably heartbroken."

Edward, who was still standing beside me, commented. "Don't you think that it's easier he tell her now, instead of waiting until they're married? At least he's being honest about thinking that he can't marry somebody who is more of a friend than anything else."

"I agree." I nodded. "It saves a lot of heartache for later. I'm sorry for her, though. They seemed like a great couple." I'd never really spoken to Marie or Nathaniel, but I did know that they had everything I wanted in a relationship: humor, love, and being able to spend time together without touching or making lovey-dovey eyes at the other.

The bell rang to alert us to start heading to class. Michelle came up on the other side of me and placed my arm in the crook of her elbow. "You know what this means, don't you, Lexie?" she asked cheerfully. When I made it clear that I had no idea what she was talking about, she clarified. "How long have Catherine and I told you that you two would be an amazing couple?"

I shook my head with a laugh. "At least ten thousand. But, it's not going to happen."

"Why not?" they both whined.

"Why does it matter so much to you?"

"Because you'd be perfect together!" they both whisper-shout.

"Ten thousand and one," I muttered.

"Can we please stop talking about who my sister would be, 'perfect' with?" Edward said, coming up behind me. "It's kind of freaking me out."

Us girls laughed.

"Nobody's asking you to listen, Edward." I told him.

He rolled his eyes but had a smile on his lips.

The rest of the day continued slowly. Classes dragged on, studying for tests and finishing up on classwork. A normal day.

Little did I know that it would be the last "normal day" for a while.

**A/N: I know, short, but this is just the start. The chapters **_**will**_ **get longer, possibly longer than **_**The Foster.**_ **Number of chapters will definitely be longer than **_**The Foster, **_**because, let's face it, going from 1918 to years after Nessie remembers everything is gonna take a while, lol. There will be time skips though, so we're not going to go through all 97 years there are to fill. **

**That's all for me, so, thank you for reading! See you next chapter!  
Please Review!**

**Laters,**

**~Em**


	2. Sickness All Around Me

**A/N: Here's the second chapter. Thank you to: **_**immortalman18, TwilightVampireGirl12, **_**and **_**Guest**_ **for your reviews! I know the ones I could, I sent you a sneak-peek to this chapter, but I ended up changing it a little bit, so the snippet I sent you is a **_**little**_ **different than the one that made it to this chapter. I'm hoping to have Chapter 3 up later today, if not tomorrow, as it is already written. Ironically enough, I spent all day yesterday writing Chapter 3, even though I knew I needed to write this one. I'm a weird writer, what can I say? Anyway, that's all I got, so… Enjoy!**

***Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Twilight Saga!***

**Chapter Two: Sickness All Around Me (APOV)**

The next morning was just as normal as the last.

Edward yelled for me to come down before we left, I teased him, Mother kissed our foreheads and pushed us out the door. We walked to school talking about the Biology test today and met up with our friends where we got the gist of what happened the night before.

Then all that "normalcy" vaporized.

At lunch, Principal Mann came and got us. The look on his face didn't express anything good, so I knew something was wrong. As did Edward.

"There is no easy way to say this, so I'll just come out and say it. Your father has been hospitalized."

I clung to Edward's arm.

"What?" he gasped.

"He collapsed during a meeting today… Some of his colleagues took him to the hospital. Your mother called and asked me if you could get out of your afternoon classes, and I told her yes. Go get your work from the rest of your teachers, then head to the hospital. Should you not get to come back for a while, I'll send your work myself. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, sir."

"You're welcome."

Since the rest of our classes were classes we took together, Edward accompanied me to retrieve my work. We had taken the Biology test already, so that was one less thing to worry about. After receiving our work for the day, and pitying glances throughout, we headed to the hospital.

It was about a ten minute walk from the school, and silence filled the air around us. Even the city was silent. Maybe it was just the shock of what was happening that made it seem that way… I guess I'll never know.

We arrived at the hospital after what felt like hours. My hand was still gripped in Edward's- the only thing that held me up.

Mother was waiting for us in the waiting room, tears running down her face.

"Do they know what's wrong?" my brother asked.

Mother nodded sadly, more tears spilling from her eyes. "It's the Spanish Influenza. We are not allowed to see him."

My free hand went to my mouth.

"The Spanish Influenza? Are you sure?" Edward asked hastily.

Mother nodded yet again. "The symptoms are the same. I knew he didn't feel well this morning, but I never thought it to be this bad… He told me he had a meeting, and if he felt worse afterwards he'd come home…" she sobbed.

"It's not your fault, Mother," Edward reasoned. "You couldn't have known."

We sat down, waiting on news. After about an hour, a doctor came to update us. He was young, blonde, and, dare I say, handsome.

"Mrs. Masen?" he asked Mother gently.

She sniffed, and stood up, grasping my brother's arm. "Please, call me Elizabeth."

"Elizabeth, I'm Dr. Cullen, your husband's doctor. Am I to assume these are your children?" he asked.

"Yes… My son Edward Junior, and Alexa."

Dr. Cullen addressed Edward and me this time. "Nice to meet you, though I wish it was on better circumstances."

"You and me both, Dr. Cullen." Edward replied.

I just smiled gently.

"Elizabeth, your husband has the Spanish Influenza, as I'm sure someone has already told you?" he said in the form of a question. He pulled out a small notepad and pen from his coat pocket.

"Yes," Mother's voice broke.

"How long has he complained of being ill?"

"Just this morning. He woke up feeling a little 'off'… I was shocked when I got the call today."

Dr. Cullen nodded, and wrote something down. "Has he _looked _ill?"

Mother thought for a moment then shook her head. "His complection was a little pale this morning. And he didn't eat much for breakfast…"

"Can you go through your daily schedule? I need to know how much you and your children have come in contact with him."

"We get up about five o'clock every morning and I make breakfast while he showers… The kids get up about seven and get ready for school. My husband eats and then goes off to work about 7:30, and then Alexa and Edward Junior leave at 7:45. Edward Senior comes home around five o'clock, eats dinner then goes to bed." Mother relayed.

Dr. Cullen continued writing whatever Mother said. "Mr. Masen is a lawyer, correct?"

Mother nodded. "Yes."

"Alright. That's all I needed. You can go see your husband now, but I'm afraid that not all of you can go in at the same time. How old are you?" Dr. Cullen asked Edward and me.

"We're seventeen, Sir." Edward answered respectfully.

"Then I'd rather if you and your sister stayed here. It seems as though the virus is more fatal for people in and around your age."

"That's alright, Sir. Mother, go on in… I'll take Alexa home."

"Okay. Thank you, Edward. I'll be home later."

Edward nodded and kissed her cheek. "Come on, Alexa."

I nodded back at him and hugged Mother, squeezing her gently. "Goodbye."

Mother didn't make it home until late that night. Edward had decided to stay up and wait for her, wanting to make sure she made it home okay. I was exhausted, but decided to do the same.

"Alexa, please, go on to sleep. I can wait for her myself. You're not even awake, really. Just sleep walking." Edward chastised me.

"I'm fine." I assured him. "I don't want you to be sitting by yourself waiting for her to come home… When do visiting hours at the hospital end?"  
"I do not know… We've never had a relative in the hospital long enough to know when the visiting hours ended." He ran a hand through his unruly hair.

"Right…"

Sometime after that I must've fallen asleep. One minute Edward and I were up listening to the radio, not really paying attention to what was being said, just taking comfort in the voices that filled the house. The next, I was being shaken.

"Alexa… Darling, go on and go to bed. It's late." Mother whispered in my ear.

"I've got her, Mother." Edward's voiced soothed, and then I felt arms under me.

"What are you doing?" I grumbled sleepily into his shirt.

"I don't trust that you could make it up the stairs the way you are right now." Edward chuckled. "Don't worry. I'm just taking you to your room and then you can sleep the whole- rest of the night away."

"What time is it?" I muttered.

"Eleven. I'm not for sure how you are so tired, but…"

I was out before he finished his sentence.

We didn't go back to school the next day.

Michael and Michelle brought mine and Edward's work from all of our teachers, even the ones we didn't have together. People brought over enough baked goods to last us a year, and shared stories about my father. Mother had left early this morning, leaving before Edward and I woke up. Our guess was to go back to the hospital.

I made breakfast with Edward's help. Nothing fancy like Mother would have made, just some scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. We sat and picked at the small amount on our plates for an hour before clearing the table and washing the dishes.

We, once again, found comfort in the radio as we played a harmless game of poker. We didn't pay any attention to who was winning. Depression clung to us like air.

Like the night before, Mother made it home late, only this time, I waited up with Edward until she arrived. Her eyes were bloodshot, as if she'd been crying for hours. Perhaps she had. After all, her husband of eighteen years was dying.

All I felt was numb. I hadn't cried yet… Maybe I was in shock. I'd read somewhere that some people go through shock when something bad happens. Right?

The next few days pass without any incidents.

Edward and I still hadn't returned to school- Michael and Michelle continued to bring us our work on a daily basis, and food still made it's way into our house. Mother still leaves early in the morning and comes back late at night. Dr. Cullen still doesn't allow us in the room, so Edward and I normally don't go to the hospital with her, just on rare occasions.

We cleaned the house from top to bottom, awaiting the arrival of Mother. It was late once again, eleven o'clock. Mother had told us that visiting hours were over at ten thirty, and she grabbed a small dinner in the cafeteria before she came home. She hadn't really spoken to us since the day Father was hospitalized, just brief conversations after she came home. Edward and I understood, though.

A week later, the unimaginable happened. My father was proclaimed dead after just a few days of being ill with the Spanish Influenza. A funeral was held, yet more food was brought to us, and all the while I didn't cry a single tear. It was if all my emotions were gone.

Mother stayed in bed all day everyday after the funeral. Edward and I took care of ourselves, cooking, cleaning, and making sure Mother ate. What we thought was grief, turned to be the disease that killed her husband.

Mother was hospitalized three days after Father's funeral. Since Edward and I were the only family she had left, Dr. Cullen allowed us to go into her room to keep her company. It was hard, watching the woman who you spent your entire life with die. Again, it was like my emotions were turned off with a flip of a switch. I felt nothing, even as I watched my only living parent die.

Four days into Mother's hospital stay, I was getting ready to go to the hospital to spend the day with her. I made a light breakfast, because it didn't take long for Edward and I to realize just how awful the food at the hospital was.

By the time we normally leave for school, Edward still hadn't come down from his room, and I was starting to get worried. _Normally_, he was the one yelling at _me_ to come down before we're late. And he wasn't doing that.

"I'm going to check on him." I whispered to myself, putting my empty glass of orange juice in the sink and heading to the stairs. I reached Edward door and knocked. "Edward? It's time to go… Are you ready?"

I got no answer.

I knocked again. "Edward, come on. Mother's expecting us."

Again, no answer.

"Edward?" I called out, and opened the door.

He was laying in bed, his blankets pulled up to his chin. His back was to be, but I could tell that even with the blanket that cocooned him, he was still shivering. I walked over to him, walking around the bed so he'd see me. His face was covered in a light layer of sweat, and he was pale. I took my hand and placed it on his forehead, feeling for a fever. His skin was _hot_.

_No. Not him… Please, not him. _

**A/N: I wanted to hurry up and get to Alexa's life **_**after **_**her family dies, 'cause that's where we're going to spend most of our time. But, don't worry, we'll get to know the brother and sister's relationship later on!**

**Please review!**

**~Em**


	3. Last One Standing

**A/N: Thank you, **_**MACMONKEY,**_ **for your review! This one's short, but, like I said before, it'll get longer. Thank you to everyone who's followed, favorited, reviewed, even read this story! I appreciate it so, **_**so**_ **much! All mistakes are mine! Enjoy!**

***I do NOT own the Twilight Saga!***

**Chapter Three: Last One Standing (APOV)**

Nothing was normal anymore.

I spent more time in the hospital than anybody else I knew. Dr. Cullen was now Carlisle. Even though I stressed that he could call me Lexie, he called me Alexa.

"If your parents wanted to call you Lexie, then they wouldn't have named you Alexa." he'd say.

At the beginning, Carlisle would help me with homework that Michelle brought me, but that was before everyone got scared that if they came around me, then they'd catch the disease killing my family. Even after classwork stopped coming, though, he'd make up math problems and tell me to give him the answer. I may have been a Daddy's Girl before Father got sick, but that didn't mean he was the _best_ father in the world. Lately, Carlisle, as much as I hated to admit it, felt more like my father in one week then Edward Senior did in seventeen years.

I was becoming fascinated with the thought of medicine. How it worked, how the disease could suddenly disappear if you take a dose of it… I'd never thought of myself as a doctor, but now, the thought appealed to me.

I was sitting with Carlisle beside Mother's bedside, watching her sleep. I had no work to do, and Carlisle wasn't quizzing me at the moment, but it didn't bother me as much as it would have a week ago. No work meant more time spent with my family.

While I still could.

Mother was getting worse. Carlisle didn't expect her to last until morning. He said the virus had taken its toll on her body, leaving it tired and void… Almost lifeless. _Almost_.

"Three weeks ago… Everything was fine." I murmured to him quietly. "I grew up hearing the saying: 'your life can change in the blink of an eye'... I just… Never thought it would really happen." I gripped Mother's pale, clammy hand.

Carlisle stood behind me, gripping my shoulder. "I know… I know."

"If they die...I'll have no one. I have distant relatives, but I've never met them… My friends are terrified I'll get them sick…" I shook my head. "It's not fair." For the first time in weeks, tears blurred my vision.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out." he assured me. "You're a smart girl, Alexa. Everything you're going through will just make you more of an exceptional human being."

"I don't _want_ to be exceptional if it means losing my family!" I cried. "All my life, I could count on at least three people to be there for me- Mother, Father, and Edward. Now, because of some _stupid _disease, I'm losing _everything_."

"No, you're not. Do you really think you family would want to see you like this?" he asked calmly.

I sniffed and shook my head.

"That's right- they wouldn't." He came to crouch in front of me, looking me in the eyes. "Imagine the situation in reverse. Instead of your brother being sick, you were. Would you want him to be saying these things?"

I shook my head again.

"Exactly. Would you want to see _him_ crying?"

"No," I whispered.

"Then stop believing in everything bad happening to you. Your life won't stay this way forever, Alexa. It'll look up eventually."

"Things should've never looked down." I muttered stubbornly, wiping tears from my cheeks.

"Everyone's life looks down at points. You just have to be strong enough to lift your gaze up again. I know for a fact you're strong enough, Alexa."

That was the problem- he thought I was. He was the doctor. I should've believed him.

I didn't.

My mother was dead.

Since Carlisle didn't believe that she'd make it to morning, he allowed me to stay in her room that night. He brought updates concerning Edward while I sat by my mother's side as she breathed her last breath.

Technically, Edward and I were orphans. Judging by the way things were going, I'd have nobody by the end of the week.

I stayed at Edward's side the next day. He was always unconscious, now. I never thought that I'd never see his emerald green eyes again, though. No matter how bad the situation seemed.

Eventually, Carlisle made me go downstairs to get something to eat. After half an hour of arguing him about it, I relented and gave up five minutes of being by Edward's side to grab a sandwich and lemonade.

After a day of doing nothing, I fell asleep with my knees to my chest. Some time in the night, I wake up to Carlisle.

"Go back to sleep," he murmured, and I saw him grab a blanket from a tiny closet in the corner of the room. He came back towards me, gently throwing the blanket over top of my body. The smell of antiseptic and death filled my nose, but it was a smell that I'd grown used to, so I didn't mind.

The next morning, I woke up knowing that something was different- wrong. My eyes fell onto the now empty bed.

No.

No, no, no. _No!_

I got up and ran to the door, colliding into Carlisle as I did so.

"Alexa…"

"Please… Tell me he's not…" I sobbed.

Carlisle's mouth thinned into a straight line, his eyes grew grim, and he nodded slowly. "I'm so, so sorry Alexa."

"No. No… No… No…" I kept repeating the same word over and over, in my head and out loud.

My confidante… My best friend… My _brother…_

_Gone_.

_Vanished._

Not here now, and never to come back.

I'm all alone.

The last one standing.

I spent the rest of the day in the arms of the doctor who'd become my family.

**A/N: What'd ya think? Review and let me know! Plus, if you review, I'll give ya a sneak peek! **

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review!**

**Laters,**

**~Em**


	4. Starts With Goodbye

**A/N: Thank you **_**MACMONKEY **_**for your review! You're so sweet! As of now, I have no **_**for sure**_ **updating schedule… I just update as soon as the chapter is finished, so updates may be a little sporadic, but I'll let you know if it gets that way. I've been really good this week writing the chapter and then posting it, but I don't know how long that'll last. As soon as I come up with one, I'll let you know. Enjoy!**

***Disclaimer: I do not own the song which the chapter is named, or the Twilight Saga!***

**Chapter Four: Starts With Goodbye (APOV)**

Going home by myself was surreal.

According to Lyndon Michaels, a lawyer who worked with my father, I'd gained everything my parents had before their passing. Originally, half would've went to Edward, but since he was gone too, everything from the money, to the house, to the wedding china was mine.

I didn't think my family as being rich. I was always under the impression that we were comfortable. Nothing too poor, nothing too rich. But we were. Even more so than Catherine. I had enough money to be doing fine until the '30's- twenty two years from now.

Carlisle had given me a small bag of my family's things: Mother and Father's wedding rings, pictures that had been stuffed inside pockets for way too long, and Edward's watch that Grandfather had given him on our fifteenth birthday.

Their bedroom doors remained shut, and I knew they'd stay that way until I gathered enough strength to open them. For now, though, I had another funeral to plan.

In the middle of picking out the flowers, there was a knock on the door. I got up from the kitchen table and went to answer it. Standing on the porch was Catherine and Michelle, each holding a container.

"We just heard." Catherine said.

"I am so sorry, Lexie." Michelle added.

I didn't say anything, but moved from my spot in the doorway. They came inside slowly and set the food on the small table beside the door. Then, they pulled me into a hug.

We didn't speak a word.

I clung to them for the support they offered.

They were all I had left.

Eventually I pulled away from them and remembered my manners.

"Do- umm… Do you want anything to drink?" I stuttered, walking back into the kitchen and started stacking the funeral arrangement flyers neatly.

"No, thank you." they both answered, and I only nodded.

"Do you need help?" Catherine asked suddenly. "Planning the-" she cut herself off.

"I've done it before." I replied quietly. Edward and I had helped Mother plan Father's.

"Alexa… It's okay to ask for help. Sometimes you need it." Michelle assured me.

I just nodded.

Michelle sighed and sat down at the table. She took the stack of papers from my hands and spread them back out. "Where were you before we interrupted?"

"Flowers," I whispered.

"What were you thinking?" Catherine asked quietly, sitting across from Michelle. I still stood behind a chair.

I shrugged.

"Did your mother have a favorite flower? I doubt Edward did…"

"Lilies." I answered suddenly. "They had lilies at their wedding."

"Perfect choice." she smiled.

After two days of planning with the help of Catherine and Michelle, it was time to say goodbye.

Both girls had been staying at my house to keep me company. We spent the nights on the couch with blankets and the radio as we waited for sleep to catch us. They were already ready by the time I woke that morning. They'd made breakfast, though we didn't have the need to cook. If I thought we got a lot of food after Father's death, this was enough to feed an army.

Michelle made sure I was dressed in my best black dress, a dress I'd been wearing often as of late. I don't remember the act of dressing, just the feel of the fabric as it glossed over my skin. By noon, we were on our way to the church, twenty minutes before the ceremony.

I stood at the door and numbly greeted guests as people came while trying my best not to look at the two closed coffins that sat in the front of the room. Carlisle hadn't wanted me to have to take care of making sure the funeral home had the… bodies… of my mother and brother, so he took care of it. I was okay with that.

Everyone I knew came. Teachers, doctors, lawyers, friends, distant family members who hadn't seen me since I was a baby, and most importantly, Carlisle.

I hadn't seen him come in, for I was lost in conversation with one of Mother's friends. He came up behind me.

"May I interrupt for a moment?"

I turned and pulled him in for a hug. "You're here." I muttered against his shoulder.

"Of course I came." he replied. "I couldn't _not _come. How are you doing? Really?"

I shrugged. "I haven't really been alone. Two of my friends have been staying with me… Helped me with this, even, so…"

"I understand." he said quietly. "I'm going to go sit down. Come find me if you need anything, okay?"

I nodded and he walked away.

"Who was that?" Catherine asked coming to a standstill beside me.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He was their doctor."

"Oh. He doesn't look old enough to be a doctor."

"But he is." I stated and turned back to the door just as Nathaniel came walking up the stoop. Immediately, I was transported back to the last day I saw him.

**FLASHBACK:**

_The bell rang to alert us to start heading to class. Michelle came up on the other side of me and placed my arm in the crook of her elbow. "You know what this means, don't you, Lexie?" she asked cheerfully. When I made it clear that I had no idea what she was talking about, she clarified. "How long have Catherine and I told you that you two would be an amazing couple?" _

_I shook my head with a laugh. "At least ten thousand. But, it's not going to happen."_

"_Why not?" they both whined. _

"_Why does it matter so much to you?"_

"_Because you'd be perfect together!" they both whisper-shout._

"_Ten thousand and one," I muttered. _

"_Can we please stop talking about who my sister would be, 'perfect' with?" Edward said, coming up behind me. "It's kind of freaking me out." _

_Us girls laughed. _

"_Nobody's asking you to listen, Edward." I told him._

_He rolled his eyes but had a smile on his lips._

**END FLASHBACK**

"Alexa, I am so sorry." A voice brought me out of the past. Nathaniel stood in front of me, a somber gaze in his eyes.

"Oh, umm… Thank you." I stutter. _How did he know my name? We've never spoke!_

"My aunt died last week from the Influenza… Of course, losing one person is different from losing your entire family, but…" he rambled.

I squinted and nodded a little. "Yes…"

"I'm sorry." he repeated. "I'm not usually like this." He ran a hand through his hair, once again reminding me of Edward.

"Not like what?"

"_This_. Nervous. I don't normally ramble, either." he replied.

"Oh…" I looked away. _This got awkward fast._

"Alexa, come on. They're getting ready to start." Michelle called for me.

"Oh… Um… Okay. Well, I'll talk to you later, okay?" I said to Nathaniel, suddenly wanting to continue talking to him.

He nodded. "Sure. I'll find you… After."

I nodded again, turned to go back with Michelle, and took a deep breath. Walking into the main hall, I could only see the two coffins in front of me. I couldn't look away, _knowing_ that my mother and brother were laying in there, rotting. Not breathing. _Knowing_ that I'll never see them again. I couldn't even be happy that they were with Father, now. All I knew, all I could _think_ of, was that I was alone. They're gone.

Gone.

I didn't realize that I'd stopped walking. I couldn't hear Michelle's voice urging me to walk again, telling me that it'll be okay. None of that mattered.

Until I heard the voice that helped me through this from the start.

"Alexa. Remember what I told you." Carlisle whispered in my ear. "You can get through this."

I was shaking my head before he even finished. "No… No… No… I can't, Carlisle, I can't."

"Yes, you can. You have to. You're strong enough for this, Alexa. Way stronger than anyone gives you credit for. I know for a fact that they didn't want to leave you. You should know that, too. Do this for them."

I took a deep breath. "They may've not done it on purpose, but they're still gone. They're still…" I couldn't finish my thought.

"What did I tell you that day, Alexa? Would they want to see you like this?"

I slowly shook my head, still not looking at him.

"Exactly. They wouldn't. They would want you to live your life. You're the only one who knows what you're going through. You lost something unimaginable- something you can't get back. But that doesn't mean-"

"Everything will stay this way." I finished quietly. "I know."

"You do know. That's what makes you stronger than anybody else. How I know you can get through this."

I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears that clouded my vision. "I don't think I can, Carlisle." I whispered brokenly.

"You can, Alexa. You can."

I finally switched my gaze from the coffins to him. His gold eyes stood behind his accusation- he did believe I could get through this.

"You can." he whispered again.

I ducked my head down and looked at the floor for a moment. Then, I raised my head to look him in the eye. "I'm scared." my voice broke.

He chuckled grimly. "I know you are. But, frankly, I would've been more concerned if you weren't. Being afraid is normal, Alexa."

There was that word again- _normal_. I didn't like that word.

"Nothing is normal, anymore, Carlisle. Nothing." I stated numbly.

"Not now. Eventually, you'll gain a routine that'll seem normal. But it won't happen immediately. Take it in stride, Alexa. Day by day."

I remained quiet, soaking in everything he was saying.

"Are you ready?" he asked gently.

I stood quietly for a few more moments, then nodded.

"Okay. Let's go." He offered me his elbow, and I clung to him.

He led us to a nearly empty pew in the front of the room. When he tried to go back to his original seat, I shook my head. "Please, stay."

He looked at me for a second, then nodded.

Then it started.

The walk from the funeral home to the cemetery was worse than the walk to go sit down.

Carlisle still allowed me to cling to his arm, Catherine and Michelle walked on the other side of me, and the rest of the guests followed behind. The two caskets were in front of us on a horse drawn carriage.

The plot on which we were to bury Mother and Edward was a family plot. They were right beside Father's grave, which still hadn't settled. Holes had already been dug six feet deep, and a big pile of dirt sat beside each one.

Men helped each other get the caskets off the carriage- Mother's cousin Layton, father's friend Lyndon, Nathaniel and his father, Catherine and Michelle's fathers, Michael, plus my Biology and English teachers. They took the coffins from the little box of a carriage and into the ground the way I'd asked- Mother beside Father, Edward beside Mother.

"Alexa?" the minister called gently. "Do you want to start?"

I licked my lower lip, then nodded, pulling my arm from Carlisle's for the first time in two hours. I took a deep breath, bent down beside Mother's grave and grabbed a handful of dirt before throwing it onto her coffin. "I love you, Mommy." I whispered.

I walked around to Edward's, and repeated the same ritual. "I love you, brother."

**A/N: Okay, so, towards the end, it got kinda sad, I know. Real tear-jerker, huh? I got the idea of the caskets on horse-drawn carriages because I had a friend who died in 6th grade from Leukemia, and we walked through town to the cemetery behind a horse drawn carriage that his was on… So, I guess I gave him a mini- shoutout. **

**Thank you for reading, though! I'm really loving writing this story! It's flowing a lot more easier that **_**Foster **_**ever did! **

**Please Review! Remember, if you review, you get a sneak peek!**

**Laters,**

**~Em **


	5. Life Does Go On

**A/N: Okay, this chapter is a time skip. Not very long, though, just three months! But, a lot has changed in Alexa's life. Find out what I mean by that:) Enjoy!**

**Thank you to **_**MACMONKEY **_**and **_**TwilightVampireGirl12**_ **for your reviews! I appreciate it more than you'll ever know!**

***All Mistakes are mine because, to quote Hannah Montana, "Nobody's Perfect.***

***The title of this chapter does sound like a song, but I'm not for sure if it is one, so… If it is, it belongs to its respective owner(s)!***

***Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga! I do, however, own Alexa!***

**Chapter Five: Life Does Go On (APOV)**

_Three Months Later_

Saying it'd been a long three months, would be an understatement.

I'd moved out of the house I'd shared with my family and in with Catherine. Her parents didn't like the thought of me living alone, so after some debate, I packed up my clothes, some pictures, and other necessities, and left. It was hard at first, but I knew that it would be harder staying in a house full of memories of the family I lost. I kept the house, though, which is now legally in my name, thanks to Lyndon Michaels. He'd pulled strings after the last funeral, as to ensure me that I'd keep the house.

Nathaniel and I had also started courting, with the permission of Catherine's parents, who'd become more and more like mine every day. A few weeks after the funeral, Carlisle came by while I was packing, telling me that he'd gotten a job offer in New York City. We spent hours talking- me telling him I'd be fine, him making me promise him that I'd get a letter to him if I needed anything. At the end of the day, I'd lost another family member, despite not being of blood relations.

I had spoken to him since he moved, at least once every two weeks. After I'd speak to him I'd always feel better. I told him how I moved out of the house and in with Catherine, how I'd started courting. He didn't seem to really like that, but still told me that he was happy for me- "you deserve this."

I went back to school two weeks after Mother and Edward's funeral. Luckily, I hadn't missed much, so it didn't affect my place in school. The stares I got were more than annoying. Everyone now knew me as the "girl whose entire family died." I'd seen most classmates and teachers at the funeral, but the ones who didn't attend still avoided me every chance they got. I didn't care, though. They didn't know what it was like. They didn't know how much I wished I had gotten sick, too. They didn't know anything.

"Alexa! Nathaniel's here!" Catherine yelled up the stairs.

To say Michelle and Catherine were happy that Nathaniel and I were together was yet another understatement. They'd been pushing me for years that we should be together, so they thought that it was perfect.

"All right. I'm coming down now."

He wouldn't tell me where we were going today, just to dress comfortable. I wore a long blue and white floral print dress with three-quarter sleeves and a small hat. My long bronze curls were pinned up in an elegant bun, and I wore one of Mother's necklaces- a small gold pendant that held two black and white photographs, one of Edward and me, and one of her and Father.

After double checking that everything was in place, I walked out of my newly acquired room and downstairs where Catherine and Nathaniel were speaking to Landon and Nancy- her parents. They all stood as I approached.

"Are you ready?" Nathaniel asked me, a smile pulling at his lips.

I bit my lip to hide my own smile, and nodded.

"Nathaniel, have her home by five." Landon told him, trying to be stern.

Nathaniel nodded and looked directly at Landon. "Yes, Sir." He offered me his elbow and I took it without hesitation.

As soon as we were out the door, I asked him: "Are you ever going to tell me where we are going?"

He grinned at me. "No. You'll find out when we get there. I have to make a little stop first, though, to pick up something we'll need."

I was confused. "What do we need to pick up?"

His arm wrapped around my shoulder, gently squeezing me into his side. "You'll find out soon enough."

We walked a few more blocks before he pulled me to an apartment building. "This is it. We won't be here long, just long enough to pick up the thing we need."

I glanced up at him. "You're being really cryptic. You know that, right?"  
He grinned again and nodded. "Yes, actually. I do."

I smiled back at him slightly and looked at the building in front of us. "Good."

Nathaniel led us up the cement stoop and into the tall concrete building. He then led me up two flights of stairs and down a hallway until he stopped at apartment 3B. **(A/N: For all you Pretty Little Liar fans!:D)** He knocked on the door quickly, and as soon as his hand left the wood, the door was open. The man standing at the door was tall, about Nathaniel's height who stood only about an inch shorter than Edward. He had dirty blonde hair that was partially hidden from the small cap sitting on his head, and was wearing a white long shirt, black breeches, and matching suspenders. His eyes were bright blue, the grin on his face just as brilliant.

"Nathaniel! George told me you were coming by to pick this-" he held a wooden picnic basket up, "-up, though I'm no sure why you would need-" He stopped when he noticed me. "Oh. Well. Maybe now I do know." The man grinned again and lifted my hand to his lips. "Hello, Miss. I'm Jeremy Long, Nathaniel's best friend. And you are?"

I smiled back hesitantly. "Lexie Masen."

Jeremy's head cocked to the side. "Lexie, huh? Short for something?"

I nodded. "Alexa."

"Why, that's a pretty name for a pretty lady like yourself. Why do you go by 'Lexie'?"

"Um, my brother called me that." I said shortly.

"Well, tell your brother I said that-"

Nathaniel cut him off. "Jeremy. Just give me the basket." He turned to me. "Jeremy doesn't go to the same school as us. He graduated from a private school last year. Our mothers are best friends, so we were always together growing up."

I nodded.

Jeremy handed Nathaniel the basket. "Why didn't you tell us about this lovely lady, Nate? She's quite a looker."

"I didn't want her to run off." Nathaniel said sarcastically, taking the basket from his friend.

Jeremy laughed. "What makes you think she wouldn't run off now?"

Nathaniel shrugged. "I trust her. If she wanted to run, she wouldn't be here now."

_How true that is…_

Jeremy shrugged back at Nathaniel. "Makes sense, I guess. But, darling, if you get tired of him, I'll be here waiting." he told me, a gleam in his eyes.

"Okay, we're leaving now. Tell George I said thank you." Nathaniel told him, turning us to face the way we came.

"Will do, Sir." Jeremy tipped his hat, then was gone.

"Who's George?" I asked as we left the building.

"His brother. He and his wife left last night to go to Virginia, where her family's from. Her sister is sick, or something, so he came over to my house and informed me that he'd leave the basket with Jeremy." he rolled his eyes. "If there's nothing left in it, I wouldn't be surprised."

"What _is_ in it?" I asked again.

He laughed. "It's a picnic basket. What do you think is in it?"

"So we're having a picnic?"

"Yes. I thought we'd go to the park, sit by the lake, and eat. How does that sound?" He looked down at me.

I smiled and answered honestly. "Perfect. It sounds perfect."

Ten minutes later, we were sitting on a plaid white and red blanket facing Lake Michigan. Nathaniel had packed cheese sandwiches, strawberries, grapes, and water.

I took a bite of a strawberry, and nearly moaned as the bittersweet taste touched my tongue. "This is quite possibly the best strawberry I've ever eaten." I grinned.

"They are really good, aren't they?" Nathaniel grinned back, taking his own strawberry.

I nodded, and finished the berry in my hand. I took off my hat, picked up another strawberry, and laid back against the soft blanket, looking up at the sky.

"It's so beautiful here." I murmured, glancing up at the clouds that hit the sun.

"It is." he agreed with me again. I turned to look at him, but he wasn't facing the sky like I was. He was looking at me. I blushed and turned back to the sky. "Hey, don't go all shy on me now. You _are_ beautiful. Has no one ever told you that?"

"Other than my family? No." I answered honestly.

"Alexa, all of these years, not one man came up to you and wanted to court you?" he said in a disbelieving tone.

I shook my head. "I'm not very noticeable, Nathaniel. You don't have to pretend I am."

He shook his head back at me. "No. You _are noticeable_, Alexa. That's the thing. All the men at school talk about you constantly. You have been the main subject of every conversation for _years_. It's hard to believe that not one male person in our school of five hundred has went to your father and asked permission to court you."

"Well, they can't do that now. You had to ask Landon, remember?"

"Yes, but I still asked. Every time I look at you, Alexa, or pick you up to do simple things like go to the park for a picnic, I can't stop thinking of how lucky I am. If I thought I was happy with Marie, then I don't know what to call this with you. I truly do not. You're everything I could've thought to hope for. _Everything._ And to know that somebody couldn't overcome the fear of being put down… It's almost sickening."

I was gaping at him. "Nathaniel… I'm not that special. Trust me. I'm nothing important."

"Don't say that. Because you are. Lexie, you are an amazing person. You've lost your entire family, yet you don't show how broken you are inside." He shook his head. "To hear you say that you're not special… It's inconceivable."

I didn't reply.

"You don't see yourself very clearly, do you?" he asked quietly.

I looked into his green eyes and smiled slightly. "I guess not."

**A/N: There ya go. I actually had some fun writing this chapter… I liked getting to know Nathaniel a little bit more. What did you think of Jeremy? I didn't expect him to show up- it just kinda happened. But I like him… What do you think? Review to let me find out!**

**The next update will be as soon as possible! I promise!**

**Laters, **

**~Em**


	6. The Perfect Day

**A/N: Thank you **_**MACMONKEY **_**for your review! You're so sweet! As of now, I have no **_**for sure**_ **updating schedule… I just update as soon as the chapter is finished, so updates may be a little sporadic, but I'll let you know if it gets that way. I've been really good this week writing the chapter and then posting it, but I don't know how long that'll last. As soon as I come up with one, I'll let you know. Enjoy!**

***Disclaimer: I do not own the song which the chapter is named, or the Twilight Saga!***

**Chapter Four: Starts With Goodbye (APOV)**

Going home by myself was surreal.

According to Lyndon Michaels, a lawyer who worked with my father, I'd gained everything my parents had before their passing. Originally, half would've went to Edward, but since he was gone too, everything from the money, to the house, to the wedding china was mine.

I didn't think my family as being rich. I was always under the impression that we were comfortable. Nothing too poor, nothing too rich. But we were. Even more so than Catherine. I had enough money to be doing fine until the '30's- twenty two years from now.

Carlisle had given me a small bag of my family's things: Mother and Father's wedding rings, pictures that had been stuffed inside pockets for way too long, and Edward's watch that Grandfather had given him on our fifteenth birthday.

Their bedroom doors remained shut, and I knew they'd stay that way until I gathered enough strength to open them. For now, though, I had another funeral to plan.

In the middle of picking out the flowers, there was a knock on the door. I got up from the kitchen table and went to answer it. Standing on the porch was Catherine and Michelle, each holding a container.

"We just heard." Catherine said.

"I am so sorry, Lexie." Michelle added.

I didn't say anything, but moved from my spot in the doorway. They came inside slowly and set the food on the small table beside the door. Then, they pulled me into a hug.

We didn't speak a word.

I clung to them for the support they offered.

They were all I had left.

Eventually I pulled away from them and remembered my manners.

"Do- umm… Do you want anything to drink?" I stuttered, walking back into the kitchen and started stacking the funeral arrangement flyers neatly.

"No, thank you." they both answered, and I only nodded.

"Do you need help?" Catherine asked suddenly. "Planning the-" she cut herself off.

"I've done it before." I replied quietly. Edward and I had helped Mother plan Father's.

"Alexa… It's okay to ask for help. Sometimes you need it." Michelle assured me.

I just nodded.

Michelle sighed and sat down at the table. She took the stack of papers from my hands and spread them back out. "Where were you before we interrupted?"

"Flowers," I whispered.

"What were you thinking?" Catherine asked quietly, sitting across from Michelle. I still stood behind a chair.

I shrugged.

"Did your mother have a favorite flower? I doubt Edward did…"

"Lilies." I answered suddenly. "They had lilies at their wedding."

"Perfect choice." she smiled.

After two days of planning with the help of Catherine and Michelle, it was time to say goodbye.

Both girls had been staying at my house to keep me company. We spent the nights on the couch with blankets and the radio as we waited for sleep to catch us. They were already ready by the time I woke that morning. They'd made breakfast, though we didn't have the need to cook. If I thought we got a lot of food after Father's death, this was enough to feed an army.

Michelle made sure I was dressed in my best black dress, a dress I'd been wearing often as of late. I don't remember the act of dressing, just the feel of the fabric as it glossed over my skin. By noon, we were on our way to the church, twenty minutes before the ceremony.

I stood at the door and numbly greeted guests as people came while trying my best not to look at the two closed coffins that sat in the front of the room. Carlisle hadn't wanted me to have to take care of making sure the funeral home had the… bodies… of my mother and brother, so he took care of it. I was okay with that.

Everyone I knew came. Teachers, doctors, lawyers, friends, distant family members who hadn't seen me since I was a baby, and most importantly, Carlisle.

I hadn't seen him come in, for I was lost in conversation with one of Mother's friends. He came up behind me.

"May I interrupt for a moment?"

I turned and pulled him in for a hug. "You're here." I muttered against his shoulder.

"Of course I came." he replied. "I couldn't _not _come. How are you doing? Really?"

I shrugged. "I haven't really been alone. Two of my friends have been staying with me… Helped me with this, even, so…"

"I understand." he said quietly. "I'm going to go sit down. Come find me if you need anything, okay?"

I nodded and he walked away.

"Who was that?" Catherine asked coming to a standstill beside me.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He was their doctor."

"Oh. He doesn't look old enough to be a doctor."

"But he is." I stated and turned back to the door just as Nathaniel came walking up the stoop. Immediately, I was transported back to the last day I saw him.

**FLASHBACK:**

_The bell rang to alert us to start heading to class. Michelle came up on the other side of me and placed my arm in the crook of her elbow. "You know what this means, don't you, Lexie?" she asked cheerfully. When I made it clear that I had no idea what she was talking about, she clarified. "How long have Catherine and I told you that you two would be an amazing couple?" _

_I shook my head with a laugh. "At least ten thousand. But, it's not going to happen."_

"_Why not?" they both whined. _

"_Why does it matter so much to you?"_

"_Because you'd be perfect together!" they both whisper-shout._

"_Ten thousand and one," I muttered. _

"_Can we please stop talking about who my sister would be, 'perfect' with?" Edward said, coming up behind me. "It's kind of freaking me out." _

_Us girls laughed. _

"_Nobody's asking you to listen, Edward." I told him._

_He rolled his eyes but had a smile on his lips._

**END FLASHBACK**

"Alexa, I am so sorry." A voice brought me out of the past. Nathaniel stood in front of me, a somber gaze in his eyes.

"Oh, umm… Thank you." I stutter. _How did he know my name? We've never spoke!_

"My aunt died last week from the Influenza… Of course, losing one person is different from losing your entire family, but…" he rambled.

I squinted and nodded a little. "Yes…"

"I'm sorry." he repeated. "I'm not usually like this." He ran a hand through his hair, once again reminding me of Edward.

"Not like what?"

"_This_. Nervous. I don't normally ramble, either." he replied.

"Oh…" I looked away. _This got awkward fast._

"Alexa, come on. They're getting ready to start." Michelle called for me.

"Oh… Um… Okay. Well, I'll talk to you later, okay?" I said to Nathaniel, suddenly wanting to continue talking to him.

He nodded. "Sure. I'll find you… After."

I nodded again, turned to go back with Michelle, and took a deep breath. Walking into the main hall, I could only see the two coffins in front of me. I couldn't look away, _knowing_ that my mother and brother were laying in there, rotting. Not breathing. _Knowing_ that I'll never see them again. I couldn't even be happy that they were with Father, now. All I knew, all I could _think_ of, was that I was alone. They're gone.

Gone.

I didn't realize that I'd stopped walking. I couldn't hear Michelle's voice urging me to walk again, telling me that it'll be okay. None of that mattered.

Until I heard the voice that helped me through this from the start.

"Alexa. Remember what I told you." Carlisle whispered in my ear. "You can get through this."

I was shaking my head before he even finished. "No… No… No… I can't, Carlisle, I can't."

"Yes, you can. You have to. You're strong enough for this, Alexa. Way stronger than anyone gives you credit for. I know for a fact that they didn't want to leave you. You should know that, too. Do this for them."

I took a deep breath. "They may've not done it on purpose, but they're still gone. They're still…" I couldn't finish my thought.

"What did I tell you that day, Alexa? Would they want to see you like this?"

I slowly shook my head, still not looking at him.

"Exactly. They wouldn't. They would want you to live your life. You're the only one who knows what you're going through. You lost something unimaginable- something you can't get back. But that doesn't mean-"

"Everything will stay this way." I finished quietly. "I know."

"You do know. That's what makes you stronger than anybody else. How I know you can get through this."

I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears that clouded my vision. "I don't think I can, Carlisle." I whispered brokenly.

"You can, Alexa. You can."

I finally switched my gaze from the coffins to him. His gold eyes stood behind his accusation- he did believe I could get through this.

"You can." he whispered again.

I ducked my head down and looked at the floor for a moment. Then, I raised my head to look him in the eye. "I'm scared." my voice broke.

He chuckled grimly. "I know you are. But, frankly, I would've been more concerned if you weren't. Being afraid is normal, Alexa."

There was that word again- _normal_. I didn't like that word.

"Nothing is normal, anymore, Carlisle. Nothing." I stated numbly.

"Not now. Eventually, you'll gain a routine that'll seem normal. But it won't happen immediately. Take it in stride, Alexa. Day by day."

I remained quiet, soaking in everything he was saying.

"Are you ready?" he asked gently.

I stood quietly for a few more moments, then nodded.

"Okay. Let's go." He offered me his elbow, and I clung to him.

He led us to a nearly empty pew in the front of the room. When he tried to go back to his original seat, I shook my head. "Please, stay."

He looked at me for a second, then nodded.

Then it started.

The walk from the funeral home to the cemetery was worse than the walk to go sit down.

Carlisle still allowed me to cling to his arm, Catherine and Michelle walked on the other side of me, and the rest of the guests followed behind. The two caskets were in front of us on a horse drawn carriage.

The plot on which we were to bury Mother and Edward was a family plot. They were right beside Father's grave, which still hadn't settled. Holes had already been dug six feet deep, and a big pile of dirt sat beside each one.

Men helped each other get the caskets off the carriage- Mother's cousin Layton, father's friend Lyndon, Nathaniel and his father, Catherine and Michelle's fathers, Michael, plus my Biology and English teachers. They took the coffins from the little box of a carriage and into the ground the way I'd asked- Mother beside Father, Edward beside Mother.

"Alexa?" the minister called gently. "Do you want to start?"

I licked my lower lip, then nodded, pulling my arm from Carlisle's for the first time in two hours. I took a deep breath, bent down beside Mother's grave and grabbed a handful of dirt before throwing it onto her coffin. "I love you, Mommy." I whispered.

I walked around to Edward's, and repeated the same ritual. "I love you, brother."

**A/N: Okay, so, towards the end, it got kinda sad, I know. Real tear-jerker, huh? I got the idea of the caskets on horse-drawn carriages because I had a friend who died in 6th grade from Leukemia, and we walked through town to the cemetery behind a horse drawn carriage that his was on… So, I guess I gave him a mini- shoutout. **

**Thank you for reading, though! I'm really loving writing this story! It's flowing a lot more easier that **_**Foster **_**ever did! **

**Please Review! Remember, if you review, you get a sneak peek!**

**Laters,**

**~Em**


	7. Totally Worth The Icing

**A/N: Thank you to **_**MACMONKEY **_**and **_**TwilightVampireGirl12**_ **for reviewing! Love them! We broke 10 reviews for chapter 6… Why don't we try to get more, huh? I am **_**so **_**sorry for the long wait! For some reason, this chapter gave me a huge case of writer's block! I knew what I wanted to happen, just not how to write it down! Anyway… Here you go! Enjoy!**

**Chapter Seven:**

The reception was held in _our _park, which was luckily just across the street. The white gazebo was decorated with more blue tulle and white roses. The recreation center was small- about twenty tables under a roof facing Lake Michigan. Each table had a white table cloth with a center piece made of the same flowers the bridesmaids carried. The wedding cake a three tiered white cake with blue roses made of frosting, and a blue ribbon separating the top and middle tier- sat on one of the middle tables. The topper was another "something old" piece. It was the wedding cake topper that my Mother and Father had. The woman had on a long white dress, her bronzish hair up in an elegant bun with her veil underneath it, her hands holding a bouquet of white flowers around her husband's neck. The man was in a white suit- much like Nathaniel's today- his brown hair was slicked back, and his hands around her waist. In one word, it was beautiful.

Maddie and a two other little girls were feeding the ducks the rolls from the buffet, giggling as they watched the white, feathery animal eat it. People were gathered around talking, laughing. Nathaniel and I had greeted all of the guests and were now talking to Carlisle, Jeremy, Catherine, and Michelle, three of which were gushing over how beautiful the ceremony turned out to be. I laughed and smiled as they spoke of the horrors of planning an event like this. Nathaniel kept glancing between us and Maddie, making sure she didn't fall in the lake.

"I knew it would be beautiful, but never in a million years would I think it'd look like this!" Catherine gushed to Jeremy for the fifth time in the last hour.

I sighed, and glanced up at Nathaniel, who smiled.

"Time to cut the cake!" Corinne, Nathaniel's mother, yelled.

"Ready, Mrs. Benton?" he whispered in my ear.

I grinned. "Always,"

I was suddenly blinded by bright flash. Catherine had hired a photographer, and he'd been going around all day snapping pictures of anything.

"Perfect!" the boy, who couldn't be older than us, exclaimed. He was from Italy, his family just having immigrated, but he spoke fluent English. His eyes were nearly the exact shade of green as Nathaniel's, a little more dull, though. His hair was a dirty blonde, closer to a brown color.

"Thank you, Nikolas." Nathaniel said.

"You're welcome, Sir. You want a lot of memories of this day, yes?"

"Absolutely." Nathaniel grinned.

"Nathaniel! Lexa! Come on!" Corinne yelled again.

I laughed, and Nathaniel rolled his eyes.

"Let's go before _she _goes off on us."

I let him lead me to the cake table and pulled me behind the cake. Carlisle handed me the knife.

"Be careful. Last thing you want is to end up in the hospital on your wedding day." he warned.

I laughed. "I'll keep that in mind. How do we do this?"

"Our piece will be from the top tier, then we'll take it off and keep it until next year." Nathaniel informed me.

"Plus, you get to shove cake in his face!" Catherine yelled.

I brightened. "Really?"

She nodded excitedly, and the crowd of family and friends laughed.

I pouted and turned to Nathaniel. "Were you not going to tell me that part?"

He laughed. "I would never deny your fun, sweetheart." He kissed my cheek.

I smiled again. He came to stand beside me and enclosed our hands around the knife. He gently pushed the knife in our hands down into the soft cake. I removed one of my hands from the knife and grabbed a plastic plate from beside the cake. Nathaniel gently put the slice we'd just cut onto the plate and sat the knife down, grabbing two forks instead. He handed one of the forks to me and used it to cut a bite off the slice.

"Okay, I'll make you a deal," he started, grinning, "I promise not to put this all over your face, and you do the same."

"What?" I feigned shock. "No way! I gotta have fun some how! You chicken?"

He chuckled. "No. Okay, come on. Shove cake in my face."

I sighed, exasperated. "Well, I can't now! You're expecting it!"

He threw his head back, laughing, along with everyone else watching us. "Fine. I'll forget."

I smiled again. "Yay!"

He chuckled again and brought the piece of cake to my lips. I grinned at him and took a bite of the cake. I chewed, and the audience around us clapped.

"Your turn." Nathaniel told me, and the brightest plan came to my mind.

I picked up the plate that held the slice of cake and pretended to cut a bite off. Then, slammed the plate in his face.

By the time he'd cleared the blue icing from his eyes, everyone was laughing. I looked up at him and smiled sweetly.

He chuckled. "I set myself up for that one."

"She got you good!" Jeremy yelled.

"Yes, you did." I laughed.

"Well, it's no fair that _I'm_ the one covered in icing." he said, smirking.

_Oh, no._

I stopped smiling. Our friends and family were quiet as they watched to see what Nathaniel was going to do.

"You wouldn't." I gasped, stepping back.

He smiled again. "Oh, I would."

I stepped back again and he stepped forward.

"Come on, Lexa. You chicken now?" he smirked.

"No. But I will _not _let you get icing on me."

"We'll see about that." He grabbed my by the waist gently, pulling me to him. I was laughing so hard I couldn't have pretended to struggle. He planted a kiss on my lips, getting the blue icing all over my face. Everybody watching laughed.

When he pulled away, he was smiling again.

"That was totally worth the icing," I said breathlessly.

"Totally."

**A/N: Short, I know, but I wanted to end this chapter on a sweet note. I wrote this during my first period these last few days, but it didn't go the way I wanted it to in the beginning. About the second page it got easier to write. I'm sure my classmates think I'm crazy since I've been smiling like an idiot all day writing the icing part. Did anybody notice who I put in this chapter? If you did, review and tell me who:)**

**Fifty Shades of Grey comes out next week! Who else is as excited as I am?**

**Laters, **

**~Em **


	8. The Honeymoon

**A/N: Thank you to **_**AlexandraaCullen**_ **and **_**MACMONKEY **_**for your wonderful reviews! **

**Not only was this chapter was kind of hard to write, but something happened with my computer and fanfiction wouldn't allow me to submit this chapter into Doc Manager for the last four days, so sorry for the delay… Actually… Really hard to write. Also, I know I rated this story M, but I don't think that the "lemon chapters" are going to show up until later. I still feel like Alexa is a little innocent, and so I kind of need her to lose it a little bit more- which, I promise will happen eventually. Later chapters that I've written so far are pretty evident of that. So… Sorry if I don't go as… **_**into detail**_ **as some of you may have hoped, but it will happen, and- I think- soon! So… don't quit on me now! Thanks in advance:) **

**Oh, and how many of you saw Fifty Shades of Grey? I did for a Ladies Only Showing in a town a few minutes away on Thursday night, and I LOVED IT! Cannot wait until the other movies! **

**Okay, I'm stopping now. Please enjoy!**

***I do NOT own the Twilight Saga!***

***I listened to **_**Thinking Out Loud **_**by Ed Sheeran writing the beginning of this chapter. If you want, you can too:)***

**Chapter Eight: Honeymoon (APOV)**

We were leaving the ceremony the next hour.

Carlisle had offered his advice during the Father/Daughter dance which he gladly took. I didn't know how much I appreciated him being here until then.

**FLASHBACK:**

"_I didn't think when I planned this reception that this dance would be included," I confessed to Carlisle during the customary father/daughter dance that had been spontaneously added minutes before. _

_He chuckled. "I doubt you did. Your situation wouldn't have allowed the… Usual dance, would it?"_

_I laughed. "I guess not."_

"_Alexa, you do know that if you need anything at any time, you can call me, correct?" he asked suddenly. _

"_Of course." I said, shocked. "What brings this up?"_

_He shrugged. "I just want you to know that I will always be there for you. I promised your mother and brother. I may not always be with you, but you can always reach me. Okay?"_

_I nodded, speechless. _

"_They'd be proud of you, you know." _

"_Who?"_

"_Your family. You've grown into an amazing young woman, Alexa. I don't doubt that they'd be delighted to have you as their daughter." He wiped a stray tear from my cheek and kissed my forehead. "Don't ever forget that. Even when you have your own daughter." he smiled. _

_I laughed through my tears. _

**END FLASHBACK**

I hadn't been particularly looking for someone to tell me my late family would be proud of me. But Carlisle's words made me feel better.

Nathaniel and I left the park in a Model T that his grandfather had given him after he passed. Catherine and Michelle had tied streamers and balloons to the back of it, and taped a sign that read "Just Married" to the back, as well.

I'd changed into a short sleeved, pale blue dress with a pink wrap around the waist that tied into a bow and flowed to the floor with the rest of the dress. It was flowy and comfortable, and perfect for the drive to who-knows-where.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going, _now_?" I asked for the upteenth time.

He just laughed again. "Like I told you five minutes ago, _no._ This is my plan. That's all you need to know until we get there."

"Hmph."

He chuckled again and continued driving.

_Three And a Half Hours Later_

"Alexa. Darling, wake up."

I jumped a little at the soft voice whispering near me. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust. It was dark now, and we were parked in front of a restaurant.

"Wha?" I muttered, wiping my eyes. "Where are we?"

"Iowa City. You fell asleep before we got out of Chicago." he laughed.

"Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I apologized, still wiping the sleep from my eyes.

He laughed. "For what, Lexa? You were tired. It's been a long day."

I smiled. "An _amazing _day."

He grinned back. "Absolutely." Nathaniel leaned in and gently kissed me. "Now. What do you say about going in to get something to eat?"

"Sure." I smiled.

"Okay. Stay there." He winked, got out of the car, and walked over my side. He opened the door with one hand, and helped me out with the other.

"Thank you, kind sir." I smiled.

"The pleasure is mine, madame." he laughed.

"So, how long have we been on the road?" The sun was setting, a lot darker than what I fell asleep to. My arm looped through his and he patted my hand.

"Ah, about three hours."

I smiled sweetly, batted my eyelashes, and looked him in the eye. "Are you ready to tell me where we're going yet?"

"Nope." He grinned.

I pouted. "Why not?"

"Because then it wouldn't be a surprise."

"But… But I don't like surprises."

"I can see that." He chuckled. "It's good to know for the future."

I brightened at the mention of the future. "It is, isn't it?"

Nathaniel put his arm around my shoulders and kissed the side of my head. "It is."

_Thirty Minutes Later_

"I just don't understand what would make him _think_ he could do that?" I said thirty minutes later as we walked out of the restaurant.

Nathaniel laughed, and ran a hand through his hair, making my mind jump directly to Edward. "I- I don't know, he's Jeremy. Who knows how he rationalizes his thinking on a daily basis."

"But… No normal, sane person, in their right mind, would even _consider_ jumping out of a three story window."

"I know. That's what I told him in the hospital twenty minutes later while the doctor was putting a brace on his leg."

I laughed. "So he just decided that he could jump out of a three story window and land on his feet?"

"Apparently, yes. And he somewhat did, just… broke his leg in the process." He grinned.  
I shook my head. "Remind me to never make a bet with him."

"Trust me, I will."

"Have you done anything that crazy?" I asked, curiosity getting the best of me.

"As crazy as Jeremy?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, no, not as crazy as something Jeremy did, but… Along the lines." It was amazing that even after a year of courtship and a day of marriage, we were still learning about each other.

"Uh… That's something you'd have to ask my mom… I don't really remember."

I glanced over at him with squinting eyes. "Are you just saying that because you don't want to admit you have?"

He chuckled. "Maybe. But what about you? Have you ever done something crazy?"

I thought about you. "Umm… When Edward and I were little, maybe five, my grandfather had a farm out in the countryside- not like acres and acres of land, but he did have a stable with a few horses, some chickens, and some pigs. Well, once, my mother decided that Edward and I should go and spend the weekend up there while she and Father went to a conference in Evanston. It was fine, at first. That is… Until I convinced Edward that you could ride a pig just as well as you could a horse."

"This isn't going to end well for Edward, is it?" Nathaniel laughed, opening the passenger door to the car. I got in and waited for him to climb in before continuing.

"Well, it doesn't end well for either of us. Anyway, we both decided to jump on one of the pigs, and ride it around the farm. But as soon as we got on them, they went crazy. Edward's immediately went squealing around, throwing him in a huge puddle of mud. Mine went straight for the barbed-wire fence." I smiled grimly.

"Oh, no…"

"Yeah. The worst part was that our birthday was a few days away. Edward had a cut on his knee, so it wasn't bad. _I_, on the other hand, had cuts all over my face."

"Oh, honey." he laughed.

"Yes. But, I guess I deserved it. I just really thought you could ride a pig." I pouted a little. "Ruined my five-year-old dreams."

"The biggest dreams you had as a five-year-old was being able to ride a pig? You must've been an easy child to please."

"Well, no. I wanted to be a princess."

"Of course." He grinned.

"What about you? What did you want to be?"

"A pirate."

"A pirate?"

"Yes. A pirate."

"May I ask why?"

He shrugged. "I don't really know. I don't even remember where I first heard of pirates. But I remember always covering one eye and saying 'aye, matey'."

I laughed. "You know, I can imagine you as a pirate."

"Really?"

"Yes. I can. You, commanding a ship with an eyepatch, peg leg, and one of those weird-looking beards. Okay, maybe not so much the beard, but the eyepatch and peg leg, definitely."

He laughed at me. "Why, thank you, m'lady."

"You're very welcome, kind sir."

_Three Days Later_

The first three stops weren't part of the honeymoon, but we still treated them like it.

The first night, we drove four and a half more hours, stopping in Lincoln, Nebraska at around two in the morning. Our wedding night was magical- something I'd never imagined, yet knew I wanted it with him. Nathaniel was gentle, more gentle than what I'd expected, but I knew that being rough with me wasn't Nathaniel.

The second day, we drove eight more hours to Glenwood Springs, Colorado. The third day, another eight hours to Las Vegas.

Even after this many states and this many hours in a car, he _still_ wouldn't tell me where we were going.

So when we got up the fourth day, and I asked- yet again- where we were going, I hadn't expected him to tell me: "You'll see in a few hours."

"We're close?" I asked.

"Yes."

"How close?"  
He shrugged. "That, I don't know the answer to. We'll see."

An hour later, I knew what state he'd planned.

"_California?_ Wha-? How? Why are we in California?" I exclaimed as we passed the "Welcome to California" sign.

"For our honeymoon, of course."

"Where are we going in California?"

"You'll see." He smirked.

"I really don't like those words anymore, you know."

"I doubt you do. But that's the only answer I'm going to give you."

I pouted, crossed my arms over my chest, and watched the scenery pass by through the window. I heard him chuckle.

_Four Hours Later_

"Welcome to Los Angeles, Lexie."

His soothing, soft voice brought me out of a light sleep. I smiled a little, my eyes still closed. When I opened them, I noticed that we were, again, sitting in a parking lot, only, this time, of a hotel. It was two stories high, and many people were going in and out through the double doors.

"Huh?" I muttered, rubbing my eyes.

"We're here. In Los Angeles."

I shot up. "Los Angeles? Seriously?"

I remember the day Nathaniel and I had spoken about coming to Los Angeles. There weren't any real plans involved- or, at least, in my case there hadn't been. It was the one year anniversary of my family's death, so we were at the cemetery, discussing what places we'd like to visit while we still have the chance.

"I'd love to go to Los Angeles." I'd told him.

"Why?"

I'd shrugged. "It's always warm down there… You have beaches instead of lakes… It's literally the farthest away from where we are now."

"What do you mean by that?" he'd asked, curious.

"Like… It's on the opposite side of the country. You have seven states, thirty some hours, to forget about anything you left behind. Unless you go to a different country, which, one day I hope to, you can't get any farther away. Does that make sense?"

He'd nodded. "Yes. It makes plenty of sense."

Now, I only whispered: "You remembered."

"It's further away than any other place we'd mentioned. So, I figured, why not?"

"Nathaniel… This is… Perfect. The best thing I've ever gotten. I'm speechless." I said, still flabbergasted.

He chuckled. "I had a feeling you'd like it."

"How much longer do we have before we have to leave?" I asked, excited.

"Two weeks from today." he replied.

"What? I thought it was two weeks from-"

"From the wedding? No. Two weeks from today. We're leaving on day fourteen that we're here. It'll take another four days to get back to Chicago. So, technically, we'll be gone from Chicago for twenty- two days total. That's counting the four days it took us to get here."

"So we have eighteen more days before we're back home?"

He nodded.

I flung my arms around his neck, and squeezed my eyes shut, willing the tears to stay at bay. "Thank you. I love it. I love _you_."

I felt him chuckle. "I thought you would like it. And, as for the part about me, I hope you do because, otherwise, marriage probably wasn't the best idea."

I laughed somewhat tearfully. "Probably not, if that was the case. Luckily for us, it isn't."

"Thank Heavens." he exclaimed quietly, before pulling back and kissing me gently.

When I pulled away, I asked: "Is this where we're staying?"

"Yes. Shall we go in?" he asked, offering his hand.

"Absolutely."

**A/N: Thank you to **_**Dawn**_ **who once told me that Los Angeles was the farthest place you could get and still stay in the U.S. I know what you meant it for was just to reiterate something for me, but I thought it was good to use it here, as well. As I mentioned before, I have more chapters ready, they're just not in order- they're future chapters. So updates can be a little sporadic depending on what the content is. **

**Thank you for reading!**

**Please Review! I love knowing that you love this story!**

**Laters Baby, **

**~Em**


	9. Home Sweet Home… Only… Not So Much

**A/N: Thanks to **_**MACMONEY**_ **for your review! I love it! I'm a little disappointed that Chapter 8 only got one review, but it did get 45 Views and 42 Visitors, bringing in a total of 456 Views and 184 Visitors for the month of February, so I can't be **_**too**_ **disappointed. Anyway… Enjoy!**

***Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Twilight Saga!***

**Chapter Nine: Home Sweet Home… Only… Not So Much (APOV)**

_Two Weeks Later_

After a wonderful two weeks spending the day shopping, on the beach, or just lounging around in the hotel room, and spending three days driving, we were finally back home.

What's that saying? "Home Sweet Home"?

Yeah… I don't really think so.

I would've agreed with that wholeheartedly two years ago, before I lost my entire family. Even though I'd gained another family and had enough friends to help keep my head on straight, they weren't blood. I'd accepted it a little over six months ago, though I knew nothing would replace my brother- the man who I shared a womb with for almost nine months, the man who I'd grown up next to- or my parents- the people who I owe my entire life to, for without them, I wouldn't be here to start with.

"What are you thinking about?"

Nathaniel's question broke me out of my reverie and I turned to look at him as we pulled into the drive.

"My family." I told him.

He squeezed my hand gently. "That's normal, Lexa."

I sighed. "Are you sure you're okay with moving here? I mean… I know it must be weird moving into a house that's been vacant for a year. I'd be okay if you wanted-"

"Lexie. This is _your _house. We can't leave it vacant for the next twenty years. Besides, I like the thought of our kids growing up in the same space you and Edward did. Second generation kids." he chuckled.

I snickered along with him. "Yes… I guess so." My mind was stuck on the way he so easily mentioned our kids. Like it was the most apparent thing in the world.

"All right. So are you ready to go in?"

I took a deep breath. "As ready as I'll ever be."

It took three loads to bring everything in from the car.

While we were gone, Catherine, Michelle, Jeremy, and Luka were going to move most of our things into my room. After much debate, Nathaniel had convinced me that we would just move into our old bedroom, giving me more time to get used to the idea that three empty bedrooms wouldn't always be empty.

All of the furniture that had been there before I moved out remained- the old recliner my father hardly left, Mother's rocking chair, and the couch that had been shared between Edward and me. The same kitchen table that I'd planned two funerals for three people over was still in the dining room. The same pots and pans that Mother cooked with are in the cabinets.

Everything was the same.

Everything was different.

I stood in the doorway for a moment, looking around the room that was once covered in dust was now spotless: floors swept and mopped, the furniture dusted. It was surreal.

"Are you okay?" Nathaniel asked, bringing in the last of our bags.  
I sighed. "Yes. I'm fine. It's just, umm… Weird. It's too quiet."

"That's understandable, Lexie."

"You keep saying that, but I don't see how. It's been nearly a year and a half that they've been gone. I shouldn't… _Feel_ this way anymore."

"Lexa. Listen to me. It's _only _nearly been a year and a half. You lost your family within two weeks. You have the right to feel weird about being in the house you shared with them."

I sighed again. "I just… I don't know. I feel like they wouldn't like how I act. Like I'm still… Not living."

He laughed. "Alexa. You got married almost three weeks ago. You're moving with your husband into the house that you grew up in. If that's not living, I don't know what is."

I paused. "I guess you're right."

He kissed the side of my head. "Of course I am," he grinned brightly.

I laughed. "You wish you always were."

"Oh, I do."

"So? How was it?" Catherine asked me the next day while I made us some tea.

"Beautiful… Magical… Romantic." I smiled, reminiscing on the honeymoon.

"Everything you could've dreamed of?"

"And more." I smiled. I put the kettle of tea, two teacups, two spoons, a bowl of cream, and a bowl of sugar on a tray and brought them over to the kitchen table where Catherine was sitting. I pulled out the chair opposite of her and sank down in it. We both rotated between adding the tea, cream, and sugar to our liking.

"Where's Nathaniel now?"

"He had to go to his father's firm for a bit- something about paperwork." Before the wedding, Nathaniel had gotten a job at his father's law firm. It wasn't the _ideal_ situation, but the pay was good, and that was enough to get started.

"Mm… How's he liking that?" she asked, taking a sip of her tea.  
"Okay, I guess. He doesn't really talk about it."

"Are you okay with that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… Are you okay with him not talking about work with you?"

"It's up to him if he does or doesn't. Of course, I'm always open to listening, but if he feels like not talking about it, that's fine, too."

I heard the front door open and close, leaving the conversation closed.

Nathaniel walked into the kitchen, his coat thrown over his shoulder, the hat still on his head. He came over and kissed my cheek.

"Hello, darling, Catherine." he greeted.

"Hello… Everything okay at the firm?" I asked, watching as he went to pour some tea.

"Everything was fine. Father just needed me to fill out some paperwork to finalize my working there."

"Oh,"

Eventually, Catherine left, leaving Nathaniel and me to ourselves. Something didn't feel right.

"Are you sure you're okay? You seem kind of… Off." I asked him while I prepared dinner that night.

"Yes, I'm fine. My father wants me to oversee this case, and I'm not for sure I'm ready. Plus, with everything going on in the east right now, there's talk of another draft." he explained.

"Another draft?" I asked, alarmed. "It's not really that bad over there, anymore, is it?"

He shrugged. "It seems so."

It was quiet for a bit while I gathered my courage. "You don't think that they'll-"

He cut me off. "Lexa. Let's not worry about that now. We don't even know for sure if it's going to happen again."

"It's just… I know that the only way you got out of it then was because you weren't of age in 1917. Even Edward talked of joining it then, but Mother refused. Now, you're of age, so who's to stop them from sending you that letter?"

He gently rubbed my cheeks with his thumb, easing away my worry. "Nobody, but we don't know if it's a for sure thing, yet. We don't need to worry about something that we don't know is set in stone."

I melted into his touch. "Okay. Then there's something I should probably tell you."

"Oh? What is it? Is something wrong?"

"I don't think so… I know we talked about it before, but never in depth…"

"We've talked about it before?"

I nodded and bit my lip. "Somewhat." I replied.

He squinted and nodded a little. "Okay… Then what is it?"

"I'm pregnant,"

**A/N: Surprise! I didn't intend to put that in here so quickly, but… It felt right. Now, I've been over World War I before, so I don't know for sure if we had a draft after 1918. But in this story, there is a premonition of one. So… I'm sorry if I offended anyone by my like of knowledge of WWI. Also, the majority of this chapter was written today in my first period, which happens to be Computer Lit. Juniors are taking the ACT today, so everything's kinda slow. I'm okay with that though!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please, Review!**

**~Em**


	10. The Future

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! Bad weather came to my part of the state… Nearly two feet of snow, rain, flooding, more snow, and now they think it's going to flood again. Luckily, I lost Internet for only two days, but I spent a lot of time with family while on "break". But, here's chapter ten! Unlike the other chapters, this one starts right where the other one left off! Plus, I've been out of town for most of the week!**

**Thanks to: **_**myworldisblue **_**and **_**MACMONKEY **_**for reviewing! Your reviews brought us up to 15 reviews total, which isn't very good, but when there's only a few of you reviewing, it's great. As long as I know you people are reading, I'm happy.**

**\\*All Mistakes are Mine!***

***DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Twilight!***

**Chapter 10: The Future (APOV)**

"What?"

Nathaniel's face was one of pure shock. The blood had drained from his face within seconds, making him look as if he was going to pass out any minute.

I hesitated before I repeated, his reaction scaring me. " I'm… Pregnant?" It came out as a question, like _I_ was asking _him_ for confirmation other than vice versa. "Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?"

He nodded, and sat down on the chair behind him.

"Would you like your tea? It might calm the nerves." I asked, feeling hopeless.

"Sure," he choked out. His arms were straight across the table at an angle, and his hands fisted. His head was bent down.

I retrieved the cup of tea he'd made earlier and set it in front of him, watching as he slowly sipped it . I sat down across from him.

"You're pregnant?"

I bit my lip and nodded.

"For sure?"

I chuckled nervously. "Yes, Nathaniel, I'm pretty sure."

"When did you find out?"

"Earlier. Why do you think Catherine was here?"

"I thought she just came to hear how the honeymoon went."

"She did… _After _she took me to the doctor."

He sighed, and looked up at me. "We're going to have a baby?"

I nodded and laughed at his having me repeat the answer. "Yes, we are having a baby."

Suddenly, Nathaniel was out of his seat and picking me up out of my own. He lifted me up into the air. I squealed.

"We're going to be parents!" he laughed.

I laughed along with him, and he lowered me until our faces were level with each other.

"Thank you." he whispered randomly.

I looked at him, confused. "For what?" I whispered back.

"I never thought that I'd be married and expecting a child at eighteen with the woman I love." he explained quietly. "It's an amazing feeling."

I smiled. "I do know what it feels like." I whispered. "Because I'm in the exact same position as you."

He grinned and kissed my lips passionately. "I love you, Alexa Hope Benton. More than you could possibly understand."

"I love _you,_ Nathaniel James Benton."

"So? How did he take it?" Catherine asked a day later while we were at a coffee shop down the road from my house. Michelle was supposed to meet us here in a few minutes.

"Shocked, at first. It took a while before it sank in. I thought he was going to pass out." I laughed.

Catherine laughed. "That doesn't shock me."

"It did me… I was terrified he wouldn't be okay with it. But, once it sank in, he was the most excited I'd ever seen him."

"Even more so than your wedding?" she asked, baffled.

"Maybe not _that _much, but it was a close second," I clarified with a smile.

"That's what I thought."

Catherine and I chose a table next to the window that way we'd see Michelle come.

"Have you told his family yet?"

"Catherine, I just told him last night. I found out yesterday. No, we haven't told them yet. But we agreed to tell them a few weeks after our first appointment."

"Second? Why second?"

"You heard what the doctor said while we were down there yesterday- it's better to wait and tell everyone after twelve weeks. The first appointment is the second week of April. I'll only be around five weeks though. The second one, however-"  
"Will be closer to that twelve week marker. Got it." Catherine laughed. "So, you talked about this a lot last night?"

I shrugged. "Some."

"Sorry I'm late! Mother just loves to make sure I'm fed every hour," Michelle joked, coming in to the coffee shop and taking a seat in between Catherine and me.

We all laughed.

"Sounds like Natalie." I chuckled.

Natalie was one of my mother's best friends- Catherine's mom, Sara, being the other one. That was how I met Michelle and Catherine- our mother's had gone to school together and even had children the same year. We were always thrown together as kids, and once we grew up, we were all inseparable. It had become a habit to tell the others as soon as something life changing had happened. A habit that never changed.

"So? Anything exciting happen since you came home? I'm sorry I couldn't come over last night- this university thing is killing me."

Michelle had been accepted into Mundelein College just a few months before graduation last year. She decided to take last fall off, but as soon as this semester started, she hopped on the horse, bringing her A-game. She was taking courses to become a teacher. I hadn't told her about the baby yet. I'd wanted to tell her in person last night, but when she said she had a paper due early this morning, I'd decided to tell her today.

Catherine looked over at me, telling me with her eyes to share the news.

"Umm… Yes, actually there is." I started hesitantly, suddenly nervous.

Michelle looked over at me expectantly; Catherine's urged me to continue.

"I was going to tell you last night, but I didn't want to interrupt your study time…" I procrastinated again.

"Lexa. Just spit it out." Catherine laughed.

I took a deep breath and scowled at her. "You try telling her!"

She shrugged. "Fine. Lexa's pregnant."

I sighed disapprovingly. "It was only easy for you because it's not your secret."

She just laughed again.

Michelle just stared at me, gaping.

I got nervous again.

"Michelle? Can you hear me?" I asked.

"A baby?" she asked quietly.

I bit my lip and nodded.

She squealed. Literally squealed. And clapped. Everyone in the coffee shop turned to look at us with curious eyes. "It's about time something good happened to you, Alexa Masen! I mean, yeah, getting married is a great thing, but a _baby_? That's wonderful!"

"You're not mad I didn't tell you sooner?"  
"Of course not! You just told me you would've told me last night, had I been there! Lexa, this is amazing news!" She reached over and pulled me into a hug.

I laughed and hugged her back. "Thank you."

_A few weeks later_

It was the day after my second appointment and Nathaniel and I were preparing to tell his family.

Luckily, it was Saturday, one of the two nights a week we go to his house for his mother's cooking- the other being, of course, Sunday.

I could feel the nervousness waving off of both of us. Here we were, only married for four months, expecting, and about to tell his family about it.

So, to say that I was a nervous wreck was an understatement.

Nathaniel was nervous, though not as much as me. He'd known these people his entire life- it was different for him. I know that he would feel the same as me had my family still been alive. Mother would've been happy- well, _all_ of them would be happy for me, but Edward and Father may've been a little hesitant at first.

I sighed. Gosh, what I wouldn't give to have my family back just this once.

"Lexie? Honey, are you okay?" Nathaniel's voice snapped me out of my reverie as he came into our bedroom.

I quickly wiped at a tear that I'd let slip through, hoping he wouldn't see. But, with my luck, of course he would.

"Hey… What's wrong?" he asked, wrapping me in his arms.

"Nothing," I sniffed. "I'm fine."

"If you were fine, you wouldn't be crying." he responded. "What's wrong?"

"It's truly nothing." I insisted again. "It's just that… My mother and father should be here. _Edward_ should be here…"

"Of course they should. Lexa, it's normal for you to be feeling like this- we're having a baby. Of course you would want your family to be with you during that."

"Sure, but… I feel so… Repetitive. Anytime something major in my life happens, I have this urge to go tell Edward immediately, get Mother's advice on it, and pray that Father didn't embarrass me. Now…"

"Now you don't get to do that. I understand." he said, rubbing my back gently.

"Not to mention that now people are speaking of another draft! Leave it when something good happens to have it ripped away from me!" I yelled tearfully.

"Hey, hey… Nothing is going to happen. You and me and this baby will live happily ever after, Lexa. We don't need to worry about the draft thing because we don't need to worry about what'll happen in the future. Let's just focus on now."

"But it's because of this baby that I'm worried about the future!" I shouted again, standing up. "I'm worried about the future because the future is where this baby is going to grow up! The future is all that he or she will know! How can I not be worried about that?"  
"You can try by not over-thinking things, first off." he said gently. "Don't worry about something that you have no control over."

"But-"

"No buts. You stressing out isn't good for you, or the baby. So take a few deep breaths, and calm down." He stood up and walked over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders and looking into my eyes.

After a few moments, I did. I breathed in deeply three times.

"Better?" he asked.

I sighed, and nodded.

"Okay. Are you ready? We should be going."

**A/N: The next chapter will be telling Nathaniel's family. **

**Again, so, so sorry for the delay! I appreciate your patience! I'm hoping to have another chapter up by this weekend, but don't hold me to that. It's my birthday weekend, so I don't really know what the plans are at the moment.**

**Remember, if you review, you can get a sneak peek at the next chapter once it's finished! So, please review! I love hearing what you all think about it!**

**Laters baby,**

**~Em**


	11. About Time

**A/N: So, so, so sorry for the delay! Spring Break started Monday, so school work was taking up most of my time. Not to mention that I got my permit, so now there's a lot of driving-practicing, haha. Anyway, as promised, here's the eleventh chapter. Reviews are racking up- almost twenty for eleven chapters! That's progress! This chapter also covers how Alexa and Nathaniel told his family, and their reactions, so… I'll let you get to it! Enjoy!**

***All mistakes are mine!***

****DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own the Twilight Saga!****

**Chapter Eleven: About Time (APOV)**

The drive to Nathaniel's childhood home was filled with me freaking out and him trying to keep me calm- to no avail.

"Lexa. They knew it was going to happen sooner or later." he'd reason with me.

"Yes, but I doubt they thought it was going to happen _sooner_ rather than _later_!" I'd snap back.

"I'm sure they'll be happy either way."

"Easy for you to say." I muttered under my breath. Luckily, he didn't hear me.

"Are we going to tell them before or after dinner?" he asked.

"Umm… after? No. Before. Before." I replied, unsure.

He chuckled. "It's up to you, Lex. If it's after, then we can't accidently slip up and mention it beforehand. If it's before dinner, that means the sooner we have to tell them."

I groaned. "Neither one of those seems appealing!"

He laughed again. "I know, darling. But, if we don't tell them now, they're not going to until he or she is born."

I brightened. "Ohh, that's an idea!"

"No, it's not," he said, biting back a smile as I slumped back down and scowled. "But, you do get to decide whether to tell them before or after dinner."

I sighed, and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, so not helping."

By the time we were pulling into the driveway, nothing had been resolved.

Nathaniel had left it up to me to decide, and, as I'd said earlier, neither if the two options sounded appealing. So, I never gave him an official answer, and even then, he didn't offer his opinion.

"Have you made up your mind yet?" he asked as he opened the door for me.

I sighed. "How come you can't tell them?"

"Because it involves you more than it involves me."

I scoffed, a sound that would make my mother roll in her grave. "If it hadn't have been for you, we wouldn't need to be telling them in the first place!"

He at least had the decency to stop before ringing the doorbell and turn to look at me. "Good point," he said quietly, and pressed the button.

All of a sudden, I could hear Corinne yell, "I've got it! Luka, put that cake down!"

Nathaniel and I shared a glance and chuckled.

The door swung open, broadcasting Corinne. She was wearing a deep blue dress that had lace at the end of the sleeves. Pearls hung around her neck, and her hair was pinned up. "Ahh, Nathaniel! Alexa! You both look lovely!"

She gave us each a hug and a kiss on the cheek, which we reciprocated.

"Good evening, Mother," Nathaniel greeted, at the same time I said, "Hello, Corinne."

"Oh, Alexa! What have I told you about calling me that! You're as much my child as Luka is!" she chastised me.

"She's _more _of a child to you than I am!" I heard Luka joke.

Corinne rolled her eyes with a grin. "Sure I do. Please, come in! It's getting to where it's warm during the day but freezing at night!" she laughed.

"It is. I've always loved this weather though. It's so beautiful." I replied as we walked into the house.

"That it is, my dear. That it is."

"Not to mention, someone's birthday is about to come up." Nathaniel hinted.

I turned to glare at him.

"What? Whose?" Corinne asked. Last year, I hadn't mentioned my birthday at all. Only the people who'd known me my entire life knew, and they'd agreed to not do anything fancy, especially considering that the person I shared my birthday with was no longer there. While I grew one year older, he stayed seventeen. Nathaniel had found out when Carlisle had sent me a birthday present in the mail. He was upset that I hadn't told him, but understood where I was coming from.

"Alexa's." he smirked, looking straight at me.

I scowled.

"When is your birthday, Alexa?" she demanded.

"June 20th." I answered cautiously.

"Why didn't we do anything last year?" she exclaimed.

"Umm…"

Nathaniel looked sorry for bringing it up by then. "Mother, can we drop it? I didn't know when her birthday was until a few days later."

"But you can't just skip a birthday!"

"Mother, please-"

"No, it's okay." I interrupted him. "I didn't celebrate it last year, because I was still trying to get used to the fact that I no longer have anyone to share that day with. Before, it wasn't just my birthday- it was Edward's, too. It just takes a while to get used to." I said, almost apologetically.

Tears shone in Corinne's eyes. "Oh, dear. I'm so sorry." She stepped over to me and pulled me into a hug.

I laughed weakly. "It's okay. I promise."

"Well. Come on now." she said, pulling away and wiping the tears away. "Dinner's almost ready." She turned into the dining room, leaving Nathaniel and I alone.

"So… During dinner?" Nathaniel asked.

"Yes." I replied immediately.

When we walked into the dining room, I wasn't surprised to see the remainder four chairs filled.

A few months ago, Luka had started a courtship with a girl he used to go to school with, Mae Stout. They met at a party Nathaniel's father, Lawrence, held at the firm. Lawrence invited all of Chicago's most prized attorneys, and Mae's father was one of them. Mae was currently going to school to be a nurse, so it wasn't very often that she got to spend evenings with us. Tonight was clearly an exception. But I could tell something was wrong. Where she normally wore a genuine smile, I could tell the smile she wore now was forced. She hardly glanced up from her lap, and when she did, it was to look at Luka.

"Look at what the cat dragged in!" Corinne yelled enthusiastically, taking her seat at one end of the table.

"Better late than never, right?" Nathaniel laughed.

Nathaniel pulled the chair directly opposite of her for me to occupy. Once I sat down, I whispered over to her. "Mae, are you okay?"

She glanced over at me and forced yet another smile. "Oh, yes. I'm fine." Then she looked back down.

I leaned back in my seat and looked over at Nathaniel. He'd seen our exchange. I could tell from his expression that whatever was going on, he didn't know what it was. I watched as Luka looked over at Mae. I looked away quickly as they shared a moment.

The two maids Corinne had hired a few months ago hurried into the dining room, each with a tray of salads. They sat the salads in front of us, and quickly hurried back into the kitchen. Dinner started with awkward silence. Nathaniel and I shared a brief glance before resuming the meal. After a few more moments, Nathaniel lost his patience.

"Okay. What's going on?"

"What do you mean, dear?" Corinne asked, seeming confused.

"There's hardly ever been a dinner in this house that started out quiet. And when it did, it meant bad news. So. What's the bad news this time?"

Corinne looked over at Luka, who sat his fork down.

"Luka?" I asked, the panic from earlier tonight finding it way back into my chest.

"Mother and Father already know considering, for right now at least, I'm living with them. Mae does, too. But I haven't gotten around to tell you yet, Nathaniel." Luka never looked up at us, just sat staring at his untouched salad. "As you both probably know, there has been talk of another draft-"

That's when it all fell together.

"No." Nathaniel and I whispered together, a shared look of horror on our faces.

Luka nodded grimly. "Yes. I report to Washington D.C. next week. I'll be on a train by Friday."

I stared at him in horror.

_This _is why Mae looked like she did.

_This _is why every time Mae and Luka look at each other, it looks as though it's their last.

_This _is why…

"How long have you known?" Nathaniel asked quietly.

"Since Thursday."

Nathaniel had nothing to say to that.

The room was quiet as my husband and I soaked in the information we had just been given. Suddenly, the night of happiness I'd expected, wasn't so happy after all.

While telling his parents about the baby at dinner had been a bust, and although I had no idea Nathaniel had told him we had a secret to share, Lawrence thought that dessert was the perfect time to spill the beans.

"Nathaniel, didn't you tell me at the office yesterday that you and Alexa had something to tell us?" he inquired, just as soon as the maids brought in a bowl of banana pudding for each of us.

Nathaniel and I dropped our spoons back into the bowl and sat up straighter, suddenly reluctant to tell. I shot a glare to Nathaniel.

"Uh… No, I don't think I did." he stuttered, looking at his father, but not looking him in the eye.

Lawrence began nodding. "Yes you did. I distinctly remember asking what is was, and you told me that Alexa had to be here, too."

"You did?" I squeaked at Nathaniel.

He turned to me. "I'm sorry. I couldn't think of another excuse. Besides we were going to tell them tonight, but with Luka-"

"Being as confused as the rest of the family," Luka interrupted. "you decided to keep them in suspense longer than needed?"

Both of us sighed.

"Well. Now's a good a time as any." Nathaniel muttered, grabbing my hand.

"Oh my goodness!" Corinne suddenly exclaimed before either of us had a chance to spill. "You're having a baby!"

"What?"

"No way!"

"Congratulations!"

Nathaniel and I shared a look.

"How did you know?" I asked quietly, still stunned.

Corinne laughed. "Darling, you've been terrified ever since you walked through that door!"

"No I haven-"

The looks of everyone in the room silenced me. Apparently, I'd been more see-through than I'd thought.

"How far along are you?" Mae asked.

I laughed weakly along with Nathaniel. "See, uh… That's the problem. I'm twelve weeks along. Due in November."

_That _shut everyone up.

"And you waited _this _long to tell any of us?" Luka exclaimed.  
"Well, the doctor recommended it. He said that most expecting parents don't start telling people until the twelfth week to make sure that the pregnancy is going well."

"That's true." Mae replied quietly. I shot her a grateful look. "Some mothers miscarry before then. The twelfth week is the last week of the first trimester, and the possibility of having a miscarriage after then is slim. Almost all doctors recommend a delayed announcement to the expecting parents."

"Well, if it's doctor's orders, then we can't complain, can we?" Corinne smiled. She got up and walked over to me. "Congratulations, darling." she whispered in my ear. "It's about time something good happened to you."

**A/N: So? What'd ya think? I got most of the pregnancy stuff from things I'd seen on Grey's Anatomy, so if it's wrong, so sorry! Also, once things start picking up, updates will most likely become more frequent and longer, for I have five chapters already written and ready to be posted. Some of them won't happen for a while, but it's not as long as you think. Promise!:)**

**Thanks for reading! Please review to get us to the 20 Review mark! I'd really appreciate it!**

**Laters,**

**~Em**


	12. Another Disaster

**A/N: I know, I know… I'm a little bit late for this chapter, again. But, it's that time of year again. Everything's really hectic at school right now as I finish my sophomore year, so it may be a little harder for me to get chapters out. But, just for about twenty five more days. And for those of you who read **_**The Foster**_**, I have the summer program again in June, so it'll be bad that month too. But I promise to do my best! Plus, my town just hosted an annual festival that brought in around 150,000 people a day, for three days. Maybe you've heard of it- Hillbilly Days? Yeah, the name is kinda misleading, but there's great food and games and crafts, so if you can look over the name and the amount of people packed in on Main Street, it's awesome. **

**-Okay, there's a time skip in this chapter- three months. As I've said before, I know this isn't the right way into World War I, but this is a fanfiction, so anything is possible. Just stick with me. This chapter may be a little emotional for some of you… It may not, who knows?**

**-All mistakes are mine!**

***Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Twilight Saga! I do however own all the DVDs, but I don't think those amount to much.***

***All mistakes are mine as this is unedited.***

**Chapter Twelve: Another Disaster (APOV)**

_Three Months Later (Alexa is six months pregnant)_

I'd never believed that pregnant women were as miserable as they always said.

I'd never believed that it got worse throughout the pregnancy.

And, now, I'm even more convinced.

During the last trip to the doctor, I'd been informed that I should've been much, much, _much_ more miserable than I already was- miserable wasn't even in my "pregnancy vocabulary," as Nathaniel liked to call it.

And it was true. Where most people should've gained six pounds by this time, I'd gained only three. Where most people had a noticeable bump, I didn't. Only the people who knew I was expecting noticed the bump.

Corinne and Catherine threw themselves into baby planning, until one thing popped up that they _couldn't_ answer.

"Alexa?" Catherine said from the kitchen table as I made her, Corinne, and I some tea.

"Yes?"

"I have a question. And it's an important question… But it doesn't need an answer right away. Just before the baby's born." she said quickly.

I stopped stirring the tea, directly at her, and then looked back down. "What is it, Catherine?"

She took a deep breath. "The baby's nursery."

My eyes snapped up.

"You haven't picked a room for it yet." she continued slowly.

I sighed harshly and threw my head down. "I forgot."

"Yes, we… Kind of figured that. What do you want us to do?"

"Umm…"

Nathaniel decided that was the best time to walk in. "Hello, ladies." he came over to me and kissed my cheek before doing the same to Catherine and Corinne. When he turned back to face me, he noticed my expression, and his smile fell. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged it off. "It's nothing."

"Lexie, it's not 'nothing'. It's a hard decision." Catherine said sympathetically.

"What's a hard decision?" Nathaniel asked.

"I forgot to pick a room for the baby's nursery, that's all." I replied with a weak smile.

He sighed. "Lexa, you don't have to make the decision right this second. We still have a few more months."

"So the baby can just come home to no room? Have everything we've gotten for he or she just thrown around the house? I'm not okay with that!"

"Lexie, let's be honest with each other. When the baby is first born, he or she will never be out of our sight the first few months. They're not going to care about not having their own room the first few months of their life."

I sniffed as he finished and shook my head. "No. No, I'm not okay with that. We may not have much for this baby, but we have the room. Uh… Nathaniel and I will move into my parent's old room so we can set up the nursery in my room. We'll paint the walls, and fix it up to suit a baby of either sex. We'll, uh… We'll paint our new room, too. Is that good? Is- is that okay?" I asked everyone.

Everyone was frozen for a moment or two before Catherine spoke up. "Yes, that's-it's… It's fine."

I nodded and went back to making the tea.

"Looks like the mail just ran. I'm going to go get it really quickly." Nathaniel said later that day.

"Okay, darling. Are you expecting something?" I asked, turning the radio down.

"Yes… One of Father's clients was supposed to send me something to do with his case… Just some files. Nothing too important, but I want to look at them before the trial next week." he came over and kissed my cheek. I'll be right back."

"'Kay…" I watched as he walked out of the door. I fiddled with the radio again, trying to find another station, until Nathaniel came back into the room. He was pale, an open letter in his hand. The rest of the mail was still in his hand. "Nathaniel? Honey, what's wrong?"

He didn't say anything at first. Just stuck out the letter for me to read.

"What is this?" I asked, but received no reply. I started reading the letter aloud. "Dear Mr. Nathaniel Benton, as you may already know, our country is in war. During times of war, especially, with rising tensions in Germany, a Draft has been the only solution…-" My heart stopped. I looked up at Nathaniel, tears in my eyes. "No. No. That- this is- it's a mis-mistake. It can't be…"

"It is, though, Lexa…"

"But… But we're having a baby. They can't take you away from the baby, right? There's no- I mean, I can't… No. I can't lose you. I can't lose anybody else. No. No. I can't-"

"I am so sorry, Alexa."

"No. You can't act like that. You can't act like it's all over."

"It _is_ all over, Lexa! I'm going to _war._ Name one person you know who's come back from war, alive." he tested me.

"It'll be different! It has to be!"

He scoffed. "Alexa-"

"No! I'm not going to sit around and believe that I am never going to see you again! That you're never going to meet this baby! I can't, Nathaniel! I can't believe that I'll have to add you to the list of people I've loved and lost the last two years! I'm not going to do that!"

"I'm not asking you to, Lexie…"

"Then what are you asking me to do, Nathaniel?" I demanded.

"Nothing. I'm not asking you to do anything. But you- I can't let you pretend that I'm coming back. It's not fair to you."

"But…"

"No buts, Alexa. We'll get through this the best we can. I promise."

**A/N: I'd say that most of you already knew this was coming, and I know that some of you may not like it, but to get to where I want this story to get, it was necessary. So, sorry.**

**Please review!**

**Laters, **

**~Em**


	13. For Now

**A/N: So… No reviews on the last chapter, but I saw that there are people reading it. I don't really care about reviews, I just did this fanfic thing to get some of the ideas out of my head. I had many, so writing it all down and posting to see that at least some of you like it, is all I want. But, with no reviews, I'm gonna be a little more lenient with updates. Whenever I get a chapter finished, it'll be uploaded. I'm not going to punish you readers because nobody's reviewing, but expect longer waits on the next chapters. I'll get it out whenever I get the time to. **

***All mistakes are mine!***

***Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Twilight Saga!***

**Chapter Thirteen: For Now(APOV)**

We spent the remainder of the night in each other's arms. We were going to his parents house tomorrow, and he was leaving the next day, so it was one of the last night's we'd spend together- just us. He left Monday. It was Saturday.

Luka had left a week after he'd told us he'd been drafted, so we wouldn't be able to tell him the news. I guess he'd just find out if they fought together.

Nathaniel's hands laid on my stomach, feeling as our child moved around and kicked.

"I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss _you_." I whispered, tears filling my eyes.

"Don't talk like that." he whispered in my hair, gently kissing my head.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm never going to see you again."

"Nathaniel, don't. Please."

"Don't what?" he asked, not stilling his movements on my stomach.

"Pretend for me. Don't pretend that you're going to come home if you don't believe you are." I explained, not looking him in the eye as tears fell.

"Who says I'm pretending?"

"Me. I can hear the doubt in your voice every time you mention the future. I'm not deaf, Nathaniel. Plus, I know you well enough to see the fear in your eyes."

Abruptly, Nathaniel turned me in his lap, making me face him. I didn't look him in the eyes until he hooked his forefinger under my chin and gently guided my eyes to his.

"Alexa… If something does happen and I don't-"

"Don't, Nathaniel." I pleaded.

He kept going, ignoring my interruption. "-if something happens, you are going to be okay. Do you hear me?"

"I'm not going to be able to- I can't deal with it. I can't lose you, too." I sobbed.

"You have to live through it, Alexa." he said quietly. "If I don't come back… You have to take care of yourself. If not for me, than for the baby. Please. She needs her mother if she can't have both parents."

I closed my eyes tightly and sniffed. "You know, it could be a boy."

He threw his head back and laughed before wiping the tears from under my eyes. "I know. But I have a feeling."

"A feeling that our son is a girl?" I smiled weakly.

"Mm-hmm." he nodded enthusiastically and chuckled.

"What would you name him if he was a she?" I asked, running my hands through his hair.

"Isabelle." he answered immediately.

My eyebrows rose.

"It's not Isabella, so it's not commonly used, but it's almost the same. Plus, it's beautiful. She'll be beautiful, so she deserves a beautiful name." he stated with a shrug.

"I like it." I smiled.

He grinned back. "Really?"

"Yes. How about Isabelle Grace?"

He nuzzled my cheek, kissing my neck. "It's beautiful. What would you do for a boy?"

"Edward."

"I figured you would say that." he said, humor glinting in his eyes.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No. I actually really like that name. I like that it's been in your family for generations. This baby's uncle and grandfather would have the same name as him." he paused. "_If_ it's a boy."

"It _is _a boy." I grinned.

"It is a _girl._" he argued.

"Boy."

"Girl."

"Boy!"

"Girl!"

"How about we just agree to disagree?"

"Fine. For now."

**A/N: So? Yes, no? Maybe so? **

**Review, don't review, whatever. I'd appreciate the feedback, though. **

**May be a little longer on the next update. **

**Laters,**

**~Em**


	14. My Reason

**A/N: So… No reviews on the last chapter, but I saw that there are people reading it. I don't really care about reviews, I just did this fanfic thing to get some of the ideas out of my head. I had many, so writing it all down and posting to see that at least some of you like it, is all I want. But, with no reviews, I'm gonna be a little more lenient with updates. Whenever I get a chapter finished, it'll be uploaded. I'm not going to punish you readers because nobody's reviewing, but expect longer waits on the next chapters. I'll get it out whenever I get the time to.**

**Another time skip! I have a feeling you all know what's going to happen, so… Why delay the inevitable? I also re-wrote the last chapter, so if you want, go ahead and reread that. Not much is different, but it is two hundred words more than before, so… **

***All mistakes are mine!***

***Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Twilight Saga!***

**Chapter Fourteen: My Reason (APOV)**

I stood beside Luka and Maria, watching as the coffin covered in an American flag sank down into the ground. I caressed my bloated stomach, staring numbly. Luka's arm was wrapped around my waist, the only thing that kept me up. His parents stood on the other side of me, his mother sobbing quietly.

I, on the other hand, had no more tears left.

When the officers had showed up at my doorstep, I knew immediately what had happened.

_FLASHBACK:_

_Catherine, Michelle, Maria, and I were sitting down in the kitchen, sipping on tea. _

"_Has Nathaniel written at all?" Maria asked. _

"_No… I expected something by now." I said, rubbing my stomach with one hand as the baby kicked. _

"_Luka wasn't able to send me anything until last week. I'm sure everything's fine." she said, laying a comforting hand on mine. _

_And, as fate would have it, I learned the exact opposite. _

_A knock on the door interrupted us._

_I looked around the table, wondering who it was. _

"_Who is it?" Catherine whispered, asking what I was thinking._

_I shrugged, my heart beating out of my chest. I got up with Maria's help and waddled to the door. I could hear the three girls behind me. I looked through the window next to the door, and my heart dropped. _

"_Lexie?" Michelle's voice spoke up. "Who is it?" _

_I wasn't able to answer her. I put one hand over my mouth and another on my stomach as tears filled my eyes. _

"_Alexa?" _

_I closed my eyes and braced myself for the news I was about to receive. I took a deep breath, opened my eyes, then opened the door. _

"_Alexa Benton?" _

_I looked at both army officers and nodded. As soon as I had opened the door, their gaze went down to my stomach, and they each shared a look full of pity. I swallowed loudly. "Y-" I cleared my throat. "Yes. I- I am." _

"_I'm Lieutenant Alton Garner, and this is Sergeant Otis Mills. We regret to inform you that…" _

_That was all I heard. I looked away from them and across the street as the tears fell down my face. I watched as children played on bikes and girls chased boys and listened as the boys screamed out "Cooties!" Everything was normal for them._

"_Ms. Benton?" _

"_He's dead?" My voice was flat, monotone. I felt hands on me and soothing words being whispered in my ear. _

_Lieutenant Garner hesitated, alarmed by my tone. "Yes, ma'am… I'm deeply sorry." _

"_He's dead." _

_Nobody answered. They let it sink in for a minute. _

"_Where is he?" I asked. _

"_His body-" I flinched, "-is in the morgue of your local hospital. They've agreed to keep him until you can get whatever funeral arrangements you may want."_

_I nodded mutely. "Does his brother know? The rest of his family?"_

"_We just came from there. They already know. Luka was told after Nathaniel was identified."_

_I sniffed, nodded, and looked down. "Okay. Thank you."_

"_Ms. Benton, if you need anything, here's our contact information. Again, I'm deeply sorry." And with that they walked away. I closed the door. _

"_Lexie?" Catherine, at least I think it was Catherine, asked. _

"_Hm?" I asked, not looking up from the floor._

"_Is everything okay?"_

"_Uh…" That was when it sank in. A sob escaped. "No. No, it's…"_

"_Who was that, Lexa? What did they say?" _

"_Nathaniel. He- he's…" More sobs escaped my chest and I fell to the ground. They all raced over to me. They didn't need an explanation. _

"_I'm so sorry, Alexa…" _

_END FLASHBACK. _

I'd cried continuously the next week. Within that week, Luka was honorably allowed to come back home. We all organized the funeral. I'd decided to move out of my parents' house, so I was staying at Catherine's for a little while. Everything had changed.

It seemed to take forever as the flag-covered-coffin made its way into the ground. I looked over the hole in front of me, and to the other end of the cemetery. Ironically enough, the Benton Family Plot was right across the way from the Masen's, giving me the view of not only one, but four of the most important people in my life.

All of them were dead.

One hadn't been born yet.

The others weren't family by blood, but sure felt like it.

I couldn't do this anymore.

I turned and tried to walk away, tears filling my eyes again. Luka's arm gripped tighter as he leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Breathe, Lexie. Just breathe."

"I can't- I can't do this anymore." I sobbed quietly.

"I know. But you are strong enough to get through this. If anybody can deal with this, it's you. Just breathe."

"I look over and I see my family's graves. Then my husband's. I don't have anybody left, Luka. This baby is it. And with my luck she won't live past her first birthday." I sobbed.

"Hey, don't say that. You don't know that this baby will be perfectly fine, Lexa. The stress sure isn't helping, but you have to have hope."

"Hope? Hope died when my mother died at my side. Then again when my brother died. I had hope with Nathaniel, and now it's gone again. What's that saying… 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.' What happens after three?"

"Lex-"

"Or after four? What happens then? So, no, Luka. I have no hope. I may never have hope." I jerked out of his grip and walked away, breathing heavily.

I heard somebody start to come after me, but Luka's voice spoke up. "No. Let her go. She needs time to herself.

But that was it. I didn't _want_ to be by myself. Being alone reminded me of just how alone I was. How, the only reason I had for living, was just about as weak as I am. And that's exactly what I was.

Weak.

One thing was clear, this baby deserved more than I could offer. But I couldn't imagine giving her up. Not now, not ever.

She was my reason.

Nathaniel's voice popped into my head.

"_You have to live through it, Alexa." he said quietly. "If I don't come back… You have to take care of yourself. If not for me, than for the baby. Please. She needs her mother if she can't have both parents."_

I could do that, couldn't I? I could be what my child needed. I would have to be. I had no other choice.

I could do this.

My life would change after this. Not just me. Not for Nathaniel. For my reason. My reason for living.

**A/N: I know… Not much emotion, but I did skip over a week. I didn't think you need a recap of what happened the last time she planned a funeral, so I didn't want to bore you all to death. Just a few more chapters until something big happens, so… Keep me on your alerts. **

**Review, don't review, whatever. **

**Hope you enjoyed it. **

**Laters,**

**~Em**


	15. Remember, Forget, Remember, Forget

**Here is the promised update! Sorry it's later than planned, surgery went a little worse than expected, but you guys don't need to be burdened with my problems. I've been accepted into homebound, which means I'll be home for a few weeks and have all my school work brought to me. I promise to try to write more during the next few weeks to catch up. But I've kept you all waiting for too long, so I'll go ahead and post this. **

***All mistakes are mine!***

***Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Twilight Saga!***

**Chapter 15: Remember, Forget, Remember, Forget.**

"Push, Alexa!" the doctor yelled.

I bore down again with all my might, squeezing my eyes shut. I'd went into labor nearly thirty hours ago, and trust me, the hours since then were filled with more pain than I'd prepared myself for.

I flopped back down on the bed, gasping.

"One more time, Alexa. I can see the head. One more push and you'll have a little baby." the doctor coerced.

Catherine took a wet cloth across my forehead. "You're doing great, you know. Come on. Give us a baby to spoil."

I clenched my jaw and ground my teeth. "Okay." I choked out. "I'm ready."

"Then push!"

I folded in on my belly and let out a scream. I felt a tear and a slip and, suddenly, all the pressure was gone. I fell back on to the bed.

"It's a girl!"

The doctor pulled the baby away from me and over to a little table, murmuring to the nurses who accompanied him.

"What's going on?" I gasped out, panic rising in my chest. "Why isn't she crying?"

Nobody answered.

"Somebody tell me why she isn't crying!" I demanded again.

Catherine kept looking from me to the baby, worry glazing her eyes. "Doctor?"

He never replied.

"_-she hasn't said anything since they told her-"_

"_-poor thing. First she buried her family, then her husband, now her baby-"_

"_-too much for one person to handle-"_

"_-she must be the angel of death-"_

I stood by the graves of my former-new family. One was marked, the other was covered with fresh dirt, having just been left by the preacher.

Both of the lives that I thought would help me forget the past, all the bad things that I wanted to forget, were now no longer there to help me forget. Now, I was forced to remember.

Remember the good.

Remember the bad.

Remember what it was like to feel loved, wanted.

Remember what was like to feel alone.

Remember… _everything._

None of which I wanted to do.

I wanted to disappear. To leave behind Alexa Hope Masen-Benton, the girl who causes everyone around her to die. To make everyone forget _me_. Was that possible?

Oh, how I hoped so.

I could hear the crunch of footsteps on dirt as they walked up to me. Knowing who it was, I didn't turn.

Carlisle came back to Chicago while I was still in the hospital.

**FLASHBACK:**

_I was laying on my side in bed when the door opened. Figuring it was either Catherine or Corrinne, I didn't bother turning over… Not that I would've anyway. _

"_Alexa?" Yeah. Catherine. "Alexa, someone's here to see you."_

_I didn't acknowledge her. I could hear her sigh and step away from the door. The door squeaked as she opened it wider. "Come on in. She may stay like this…" _

"_Alexa?" a new voice asked. Carlisle. I whimpered. "Alexa, honey… Please talk to me."_

_I didn't move, but a stray tear rolled down my face. _

"_I'll… Leave you two alone…" Catherine whispered. _

"_Thank you, Catherine." _

_The door closed. _

"_Alexa… Darling, please talk to me." _

_I blinked. _

"_At least look at me."_

_Blink. _

"_This isn't good for you, Alexa… Do you think she would've wanted you to wallow like this?" _

_My eyes flashed to his._

_He smiled comfortingly. "Hello, honey. You haven't been doing so well since the last time I saw you, huh?"_

_Blink. _

_Carlisle sighed and rubbed my shoulder. "I know it's hard, Alexa… It's okay to be sad."_

_A sob escaped my throat. _

"_There you go… Let it out." _

"_It… Hurts…" I squeaked._

"_It always does. But you will get through this. You _will_." He climbed up in the bed and pulled me to his chest, comforting me in the way a father would. He rubbed a hand up and down my back continuously, murmuring more comforting words. _

**END FLASHBACK**

Carlisle put his arm around my shoulders. "Are you ready to go home?"

"'Home' as in empty house full of memories of my dead family?" I mutter emotionlessly. "Not yet."

"So standing here where you can see your, as you put it, 'dead family's' graves is easier?" he asked bluntly.

I looked up and around at the side-by-side plots that held two different namesake's for me. I sniffed and looked back down at my feet. "I guess you're right."

"Come on… You need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"You haven't been hungry all week. That's still not going to stop me from making you eat."

"Definitely hasn't stopped you this week." I muttered under my breath.

Carlisle chuckled. "No. It definitely hasn't. Come on. I'll bring you back tomorrow." he bargained.

I sighed again. "Fine," I allowed him to turn me away from the mound of dirt.

Carlisle set a bowl of steaming soup on the table in front of me. I just stared at it.

"Alexa. Eat."

I grimaced but picked up the spoon and lifted it to my mouth.

"There you go… You don't have to eat it all, just some."

I pursed my lips and spun the spoon around the bowl. "Why me?"

Carlisle sighed. "Because you're unlucky. Because you're strong enough. I'd say it's a little bit of both."

"If this is what I get for being strong, I don't want to be anymore." I said tearfully. "If everyone I come into contact with _dies_, I-" I cut myself off with a shake of my head as tears rolled down my cheeks. "I thought I found a refuge. I thought that I could start a new life with my new husband and new baby. Now, they're both dead." I laughed humorlessly. "I tried, Carlisle. I tried to straighten my life out, to be happy again. But it just blew up in my face."

"Just because you're not happy now doesn't mean that you'll never be happy again, Alexa. Maybe you should get away for a little bit. Some time away from Chicago may do you good."

"And go where? The only place I've been other than Chicago is Los Angeles. And that was on my honeymoon. I just… I just feel lost. Completely and utterly… _Lost_."

"That's normal. You've lost everyone, Alexa. It's absolutely normal to feel lost. Go somewhere South. Maybe Georgia. I've heard good things about it. Or, maybe go North- New York is a big attraction."

"I think before I go anywhere out-of-state, I should probably go clean out the rooms upstairs. And get rid of all the baby stuff."

"That's a good idea… I can help if you want."

I shook my head. "You've done too much already, Carlisle. Aren't you missing work to be here?"

"I'm needed here." he argued.

"Still, I can't allow you to-"

"You're not _allowing_ me to do anything, Alexa. I'm doing this. You need me. I'll be here until you don't. End of story."

I looked up at him and allowed a tiny small to appear on my face. "Thank you, Carlisle."

"You're welcome. And Alexa?"

"Yes?"

"Just because you have no more biological family, doesn't mean you don't have me. I'll always be there for you."

"I'm okay with that."


	16. New Life Renewed

**Thank you, **_**GoldieLover**_**, for your review! You have no idea how much happiness it brings me to see people enjoy my work! You're awesome! Oh, and another thing… I posted a new story, not related to Twilight. It's **_**Blue Lagoon: The Awakening,**_ **so if you like that movie, then please check it out!**

***I only own the plot and unrecognizable characters! The rest belongs to Stephenie Meyer!***

***All mistakes are mine!***

**(I listened to **_**Between the Lines**_ **by Sara Bareilles while writing this if you want to listen to it!)**

**Chapter Sixteen: New Life Renewed (APOV)**

Carlisle stayed with me for a little under a full month.

By then, I was tired of being babied by everyone within a ten mile radius and more content with the path my life was forced down. I don't think I'd ever be perfectly okay with losing everybody I loved, but I was more… at peace with it.

The first thing I did once Carlisle went back North was buy a new house. The _perfect_ house, actually. In the middle of Chicago, near all the shops and restaurants of downtown Chicago, it was a two story colonial, white, with a huge front porch. It had three bedrooms, one bathroom, an amazing kitchen, a big yard… A new start.

Yeah, right.

I still kept my parents' house, of course. Even though I couldn't stand living there for the rest of my life, the thought of somebody else making memories there did not sit well with me.

Everything still remained the way they left it: Edward's bed remained unmade, clothes still hung in closets, school books were stacked on desks. Mother's clothes were still laying across her bed, Father's watch still on the nightstand. Time stood still.

"Lexie, this house is beautiful!" Michelle exclaimed as she and Michael walked through the door.

I smiled. "I know. Wait until you see the rest of it."

She walked over to me and slung her arms around my neck. "How are you doing?"

My smile fell. "Good."

Her eyes narrowed. "Alexa…"

"I'm fine, Michelle. As fine as I can be. Can we please stop talking about it?" I begged.

"All right…"

"Now… Are you two hungry? I was just about to make Italiano." I said, walking into the kitchen.

Michael laughed. "If you're the one that's cooking, I'm always hungry, Alexa."

I laughed along with him.

"You're not okay, Alexa!" Catherine shouted.

"Yes, I am!"

"No! You're _pretending _to be! And guess what, you don't need to do that! You have been through hell and back the last two years, something we're all aware of. We completely understand that you're falling apart inside. We expect it! You've lost everything, Alexa. You don't need to hide from us!"

"I'm not pretending anything!" I yelled. "I'm perfectly fine with being the last surviving member in two different families."

"_See!_ That's what I'm talking about! You're not the same Alexa you were two years ago! You're… Cold, dead… You're not the last surviving member, because you died right along side them."

I laughed once, humorlessly. "I think you're right about that."

Catherine walked over to me and gripped my hands in hers. "Please… Let us help you. _Please_."

I laughed at her. "And how do you plan on doing that?" I asked quietly. "You can't… Bring my family back or reverse time. Unless there's something you haven't told me." I tried to joke.

"Alexa… You're like my sister. I can't stand to see you go through this again. You-"

"I'm what, Catherine?" I asked cooly. "You've already said 'cold,' 'dead,'... What else am I?"

"Depressed. You're depressed. With every right to be. But we can help you-"

"I don't need help!" I shouted. "I need my life back. I need my family back. But most importantly, I need people to _stop trying to help_! I can't leave the house without seeing happy families walking in the park with kids swinging off the monkey bars. I can't leave the house without _hundreds_ of people staring at me! I can't leave the house because there's _nowhere else to go! _I don't need help, Catherine! I need all of that! And if you can give me that, then I'll be better!"

Catherine just stared at me, not saying a word.

"Can you do that?" I asked, tears running down my face. "Can you give me my life back? Hmm?"

She still didn't reply.

"That's what I thought."

I turned and walked away.

*****December*****

It'd been one month since I left Chicago. The intervention was a good idea until they realized that what they were offering me wouldn't help. Everybody had been there: Catherine, her family, Michelle, Michael, Nathaniel's parents, Luka and Mae, and Carlisle. Yes, they tracked Carlisle down, told him what was wrong, and he was on the first train to Chicago.

The intervention didn't go as planned.

After getting into a fight with Catherine, I turned and walked out of the hotel restaurant that Carlisle had reserved for the occasion. After that, I'd stayed locked up in my house for a solid week before packing my bags and heading to Los Angeles without a word. There, I stayed for one solid month, sending letter to everyone back home that I was safe, I just needed to get out of Chicago for a while. While in LA, I rented a small house right on the beach, got a job at a local diner, and rebuilt my life.

I got a lot accomplished in that one month.

After the month ended, I went back to Chicago.

That's how I got here. I had on a beige pea coat, red gloves, and a small hat on top of my newly cut bronze hair. I didn't go in right away. I stood on the front stoop of my family's house for what felt like hours before I finally got up the courage to unlock the door.

The furniture was dusty, not that I expected anything less. And it was dark. I walked up the stairs slowly after dropping my bags on the floor next to the door. The first stop was Edward's room- former room,- then Mother and Father's, and, lastly, mine. It was the cleanest of all of them. Everything was put away, except for my wedding band that was lying on the nightstand. I had put all of the baby stuff in a storage box uptown before I left for California, so it was now easier to walk around the room.

"Hello?" a voice called out downstairs. "Is anybody in here? This is private property!"

I sighed, and walked out of the room.

"I know." I called out as I walked down the stairs. "I'm the one who owns it."

Luka jumped and turned around. "Alexa?" he breathed.

"Nice to see you again, Luka."

"Alexa!" he shouted, and ran at me, then squeezed me tightly. "You're back! How are you?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm better. I just needed to get out of the city, I guess."

"Well, LA suits you. But why'd you cut off your hair?"

"I needed… Change, Luka. That was the easiest thing I could change." I laughed.

"Understandable." he chuckled. "You look better, Alexa. A lot better."

"Thank you. I feel better." I smiled.

"What do you say about dinner? It's Sunday, Mom and Dad are having this big dinner like they always do. I know they'd love to see you again."

"You know what? Sure. I'd love to see them again, too."

"Mom, Dad! I'm here! And I have a surprise!" Luka shouted into the house.

"Luka, how many times have I told you to stop ye-" Corrinne stopped in her tracks when she saw me. "Oh, my stars..."

"Hello, Corrinne." I mumbled, giving a slight wave.

Tears welled in her eyes as she walked over to be, wrapping her arms tightly around me.

"You gave a such a fright, young lady! Just taking off like that? We thought the worst!"

"I know… And I'm sorry. I just had to leave… It felt so… Constricted here. I couldn't take it anymore." I explained quietly, squeezing her back.

"I know, honey… But, you're back now, and from what I can tell, you're happy. That's all we could've asked for."

"I am. Not… Overly happy, but I'm better than what I was."

"That's all we could've asked for." she repeated.

"We thought you were dead!" Catherine's voice rose in the cafe as I picked at my muffin. It was dark out now, the clock just striking nine. I was out for a late night snack with Catherine after spending all day at Corrinne's house, discussing what Los Angeles was like, plans for the future. It was really nice having a mother figure to talk to. She made it very clear that, even though I had nothing to tie me to her family legally or biologically, I was still more than a part of their family.

It was more than reassuring.

That only left the fury of Catherine and Michelle. Michelle wasn't able to come out, having a lot of homework to do, but she promised a chewing out from her the next day.

"Well, clearly, I'm just fine. So, please stop yelling." I said quietly.

" 'Stop yelling'? '_Stop yelling'_?" she screeched. I grimaced. "We got _one_ letter in a month, Alexa! Nobody know where you were in Los Angeles, why you'd left, how long you were going to be gone… Nothing!"

"I didn't know when I'd be back either!" I defended myself. "All I knew was that I needed to leave. So, I packed my bags, and was on the first train to Los Angeles. There was no thinking behind it- just instinct. If I had thought about it, at all, I would've told everybody. I promise."

She was quiet for a moment before her eyes filled with tears. "I was so worried about you, Lexie."

I smiled a little. "I know you were. And I'm sorry. But…"

"I know, I know." she grumbled. "It was for the best.

"It was. I feel better than I have in months."

She grinned. "I can tell. You have this aura about you now… You glow with maturity and strength. It's inviting."

"Thank you. I don't think I'm ready to move on just yet, but I think I'm getting on that road."

"Nobody would expect you to, Lexa. The wound is still fresh. As long as you're on the road of getting better, starting a new life, _again_… I think you're going to be just fine."

A few minutes later, we decided to call it a night. I was exhausted and I could tell she was getting there.

I left the cafe and began walking down the sidewalk towards home. It wasn't more than a five minute walk, and I loved the feeling of walking through the streets in the dark. It was almost better than Chicago in the snow.

_Almost_.

I was about two blocks from my street when a man appeared out of nowhere on the sidewalk in front of me. He was tall, muscular. He wasn't dressed like it was December in Chicago, wearing breeches and a white long sleeved shirt with a dark, light jacket overtop. He just stood there, watching me walk. He didn't look scary, so I didn't think anything of it. When I got in his vicinity, he started talking.

"I knew I'd find you eventually." his voice was gruff, deep.

"I'm sorry… I think you have the wrong person." I smiled, trying to step around him.

He grabbed my arm, not too tightly, but tight enough to stop me. "No, you're the right person." he mused.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, feeling my heart start to speed up, "but I don't know you… I think you have the wrong person." I tried to pull away, but he was strong, too strong.

"You may not know me, but I know you, Alexa…" he leaned down.

I leaned back, away from him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry…"

"'Sorry'? What are you sorry for?" I asked, my voice filled with panic.

"Just remember that I'm sorry."

That's when his teeth cut into my neck.

**A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger, but I just couldn't help myself! I hope you liked it!  
Review, don't review… It's up to you.**

**Laters, **

**~Em**


	17. Moments

**A/N: Anybody read the Tenth Anniversary present we got from Stephenie Meyer? **_**Life and Death**_**? I did… Honestly, I didn't care for it, but, oh well. It's Twilight, and it's the best.**

***All mistakes are mine!***

***I do not own Twilight!***

**Chapter Seventeen: Moments (APOV)**

Pain.

That was all I could feel or think. It was everywhere… My head down to my toes. My fingertips throbbed… My throat stung every time I attempted to draw in a breath or swallow. I just screamed and screamed and screamed…

The man from the street was sitting beside me, telling me about himself, speaking louder as my screams rose. I tried concentrating on his voice instead of the pain, but it didn't always work.

He told me what the pain was for, what I was becoming, and that I had somebody waiting for me out there. He told me that all the pain I had been feeling the last two years wasn't for nothing, that there as a reason for it all. I knew his name was Cyrus, and he wasn't from around here, and had been changed two hundred years before. He didn't have much of a relationship with his "maker," whatever that meant.

"You're the first one I've ever changed, so I'm not sure how to go about this…" he said. "We do have laws, but that's nothing you need to worry about just yet…"

We continued like this for three days.

Me: screaming every now and then; him: talking over me about random things.

"Have you ever wondered why the sky is blue?"

"Bugs are awful…"

"I've always wanted to go to Antarctica. Let's go there."

When the pain _finally_ dissipated from my limbs, it went straight to my chest. My heart picked up its already fast speed, and the fire seemed to burn harder. I screamed.

"It's almost over, Alexa… I promise. Just a few more moments…" Cyrus said over my cries. "Just a few more moments and this will all be in the past. All the bad things you've had to deal with in your life… You'll never have to deal with it again. It'll be over… Just a few more moments…"

And that's all it took.

Moments.

**A/N: Short, sweet, and to the point. Sorry it was so short, RL is a bitch sometimes and gets in the way. I promise a longer- and better- chapter next time! **

**Laters,**

**~Em**


	18. What Have You Done?

**A/N: Sorry for the late update! The hardest thing that I have to overcome as a writer is having the beginning and end figured out, but winging the middle. It sucks, but every hobby has its up and downs. That, coupled with recovering and getting back in the swing of things with school is difficult. But thank you for your patience, and I hope with all my heart that it's worth it in the wait. Happy New Year! Hope everyone has an awesome start to 2016!**

***Disclaimer here***

***All mistakes belong to me, as I do not have a beta.***

**Chapter Eighteen: What Have You Done? ** **APoV**

"What did you do to me?"

My voice cracked as I strained to push past the heat building up in my throat. I looked around to get a grasp of where I was. The alley was dark, but I could see perfectly. A Dumpster was at the end of the alleyway, trash littered the area around it. Glass bottles were flung around us, and from the smell, I could deduced it was beer. Street cats ran around the area that _wasn't _lit up by a lamp post, scouring for a midnight snack.

"I changed you," Cyrus responded simply, standing up from his crouch against the wall across from me.

"You changed me? To what? How? Why?" My hand shot up to my throat, toying with the necklace there. I stayed in my position on the hard ground.

"To answer question number one, I changed you into a vampire. Two, when I bit you, venom was released into your bloodstream. That's why it burned. Three…"he trailed off with a shake of his head. "I can't tell you. You'll have to find out yourself. But I promise you, Alexa, I wouldn't have done this to you if there wasn't a reason."

"What do you mean you can't tell me? Don't you think I deserve to know why you turned me into a monster?"

"From what I know of you, Alexa, there's no way you could be a monster. And yes, I do believe you should know, but I can't. _You _would never believe _me_ if I told you the reason."

"Oh, really?" I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest. "Try me."

He chuckled and pushed away from the brick wall. "As much as I would like to, I think we have more… Urgent matters to attend to."

"And what would that be?"

Cyrus walked until he was right in front me, squinting. "You can't feel it?"

I sighed, exasperated. "Feel what?"

Cyrus laughed again. "Tell me, Alexa. What do you know about our kind?"

"Only what I've read in books and seen in movies. We burn in the sunlight, drink blood, turn into bats, never age-" I cut myself off, eyes widening as I realized what I'd said.

He cocked his eyebrow and lifted one corner of his mouth. "Now do you see what I'm talking about?"

"Blood? Do I have to? I don't think I can-"

"Yes, you have to, but I have an idea. No innocent blood will be spilled tonight. I promise."

Cyrus told me to hold my breath as we walked through the sidewalks that, surprisingly, didn't hold any resemblance to Chicago. He must have moved us while I was… Out of it.

It was dark, and though I could see Cyrus's breath every time he spoke, I didn't feel cold. despite the fact that I'd left my coat wherever we came from. The streets were empty besides the occasional person on their way home from work.

"I've been watching this guy for a week or two and from the looks of it, he has a wife he's been married to for three years. It appears as though he forces her to be the 'picture perfect wife' facade in public but when they're behind closed doors, he 'shows her who's boss'."Cyrus shook his head and scoffed. "Pardon my language, darling, but this man is the epitome of a self-righteous bastard. His wife deserves so much better. After he's done beating the hell out of her, he runs off with one of his many, many, many mistresses. It seems as though the wife and the guy were forced into this marriage as a business transaction. Neither of them were too happy about the marriage, and the fact that they've been married for three years and have no children make it worse for her. Tonight, they had a business party to attend, and as soon as they leave, he's going to take her back to the hotel for some 'alone time,' which will last about one hour. Then he'll run out with his flavor of the night, but before that, we'll- more precisely you- will strike."

"It's not that easy, is it? It doesn't seem that easy."

"Well, for a first timer, the worst you should expect is the guilt afterwards. Once you let your instincts take over, you'll be fine."

"Do I deserve that much trust?"

"No, probably not, but I'll give it to you. I have no doubt you'll be fine."

He pulled me around a corner and immediately I gazed around the plaza he'd brought me to. It was fairly empty, a few people here and there, but no major crowds. At once, I knew who my victim was going to be.

It came in a flash, in one second in out the next.

Mainly, there was screaming and blood, but for a brief moment, I saw his face- right before my teeth sank into his neck.

And it just so happened to be the man not ten feet in front of me.

He was with one woman, and it was clear they had been drinking. They were rubbing all over each other, not minding that there were a few people around them.

"Him, right?" I asked under my breath, nodding my head towards the guy in question.

Cyrus cast me a look, nodding with creased eyebrows. "Yes… How did you know?"

I shrugged, not willing to take a breath long enough to reply that I didn't know.

"Okay, this is how it's going to go… I'm going to go over and introduce myself, and you're going to stay here. I'll offer him… something, and come to get you when he agrees. Understand?"

I nodded, still slightly confused, but the thirst was becoming unbearable. I watched as Cyrus walked away and towards the man (whose name Cyrus wouldn't tell me, by the way). I could hear the heartbeats of those around me growing louder, so I tried my best to tune everything out. It must have worked because the next thing I knew, Cyrus and the man were walking towards me.

"Lexa, darling, are you ready to go?" Cyrus asked, warning in his eyes.

I smiled tightly, nodded, and gestured for him to lead the way. In the end, I trailed behind the man as Cyrus led us both to an alley behind a closed bar, ironically the one we had just left.

"Here?" the man asked.

Cyrus turned and grinned cockily. "Why not? It's not like you're getting anything out of it."

"I'm sorry, what?" the man questioned again.

"Lexa, would you like to do the honors?"

I bit my lip, shrugged, then nodded.

"Here," Cyrus started, and threw the guy up against the alley wall, "I'll help you out."

The guy was clearly scared out of his mind, but, surprisingly, didn't scream.

"Lexa, all you have to do is bite. Don't worry about making a mess- we'll take care of it later." Cyrus informed me. "I'll hold him, you do your thing."

With that, I buried my teeth in his throat, letting complete instinct take over.

Three hours later, I was in the same position I had been in when I woke up. Only this time, there was a rapist laying in front of me with his throat torn out and his blood all over me.

"The first kill is always the hardest." Cyrus told me, standing over my victim. "And the messiest," he muttered, dodging his way around a puddle of blood at the man's neck.

I glared through the tears building up in my eyes. "How can you say that? He was-"

Cyrus pointed at me. "Don't say he was '_innocent', _Alexa. He wasn't. Where you kill people out of necessity, he hurt people for his own pleasure."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better? That makes me almost the monster he is, Cyrus!"

"No, it doesn't. This man raped innocent women, for nothing. You have no other means of survival, Alexa. This is what you _have_ to do."

"And if I don't? Would I die? Like, _really _die?"

"No, I'm sorry. You wouldn't." he shook his head slowly. "But, may I ask why you would want to? Why you want to choose death over immortality?" he asks, taking a sit across the alleyway from me.

"Because I have nothing or nobody to live for. My family's dead, my husband's dead, my baby's dead. My living friends think I'm depressed and insane, and maybe I am. Can you blame me?"

"No, not really." he murmured. "Lexie, you'll always have something to live for. Some people just happen to know it before you do."

I cocked my eyebrow. "Does this have something to do with the reason you changed me?"

He waved his head from side to side. "Maybe. Have I told you about my power?"

"Power? What power? We have powers?" I squeaked.

"_Some _of us do- not all of us. I just happen to be one of the ones that do."

"What do you do?"

"I'm able to see someone's past. Who they were then, who was involved in their life, who still is. The past is what makes a person who they are today. The future allows them to make up for mistakes they made in the past. I can take one look at a person and see a whole lifetime of stories. Most of those stories aren't complete, and that's where I come in to try and fix them. That's where your story begins."

"So, you're telling me that you met someone that I knew or know and with your gift, you were able to tell that we had unfinished business. But you can't- or won't- tell me who that person is or what business is left unfinished."

He nodded. "Precisely."

"How am I supposed to know who this person is?"

Cyrus laughed once. "Trust me. You will know."

"Okay then…" I muttered, and looked away.

He cocked his head. "Any other questions before we have to get rid of this… Scum bag?"

"Do we burn in the sun?"

"No, but we do try to stay out of the public eye when it's sunny. I'll show you in the morning."

"Do we turn into bats?"

"No. No transformation for us."

"I know we never age, we drink blood… Do I have it all covered?"

"Yes, I think you do."


	19. So We Sparkle in the Light and What?

**A/N: Hey, guys… I'm so sorry it's been so long since my last update, but my head hasn't been in the right place for writing. About a month ago, I had a classmate commit suicide after school. A week after that, I had a really close friend who was killed in a car accident. It's taken a while to get my head back in the game, so, please, be patient with me. It's never easy losing people, and I hope that none of you have to deal with that. Anyway… on with the show. **

***I do not own Twilight!***

***All mistakes are mine!***

**Chapter Nineteen: So We Sparkle in the Light and What? APoV**

"So… Instead of burning in the sunlight… We sparkle?"

"Yes, there's no burning involved."

"And powers? We have powers?"

Now, Cyrus hesitated. "Well… Some of us do. I, for example, have the gift to see the people that will or has been in your life previously. Some of us live as normally as humans- you know, besides the blood drinking, speed, and immortality."

"Don't forget the beauty."

"Right. And the beauty." he chuckled. "You, however… I suspect to have a power of your own."

"Me? Why?"

"Don't think I didn't see how you froze before your meal last night, Lexie."

I flinched at what "meal" he was referring to and looked around my living room. "How do you know what I saw?"

"I don't. But I do know that you saw something. What _did _you see?"

I shrugged, still not glancing at him. "Just what I did to him… later. It was like… a glimpse into what his future held. It doesn't make sense, I know, but-"

"No, it makes perfect sense, actually. If it happens again, tell me okay? We can figure it out together."

I only nodded.

In a flash, he was kneeling in front of me and clasping my chin between his thumb and forefinger to make me look at him. "You're not alone anymore, darling. There's more people out there waiting for you than I think you realize."

I stared at him for a couple heartbeats, anger slowly rising in me, burning in me. "I used to. Currently and for the rest of eternity, however, I don't. I can't go see my friends in fear that I'll hurt them. My family is dead, both of them, which means I am as alone as I-"

"You're not, Alexa! Nobody's saying that you can never see and talk to your friends again. In fact, I know a vampire who lives peacefully among humans as a doctor. Your social life isn't over just because of what you eat."

" 'Just because of what I eat'? Seriously? I eat _them_!"

"It doesn't necessarily have to be them, Alexa. Once your self-control becomes… Controll_able_ you can see them every now and then."

I sighed. "Can we talk about something else? You know, _other _than me killing my friends?"

"You were the one who brought it up." He shrugged.

I shook my head. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

Cyrus debated for a minute, thinking. "Have I told you about the Volturi?"

Shaking my head, I replied: "No… Who are they?"

"They're what you would consider royalty… Three brothers- Aro, Marcus, and Caius- along with their guard and wives, make sure the entire vampire race abids by the rules, laws, they set. So I guess they are your version of Kings and the police enforcers. They live in Volterra, Italy."

"What are the rules?"

He shrugged. "You can't kill conspicuously. Nor can you expose yourself as vampire. If broken, both may result in death."

"Is that it?"

"Basically..."

"Do _they_ have a specialty?"

"Aro can read every thought you have ever had with one touch and Marcus can feel a relationship between a coven or two people.

"Coven?"

"A group of vampires who decide to travel together. Most find it less lonely to live that way."

"Do _you_ live in a coven?"

"No. While it's less lonely, coven living is very… What would you call it… Dramatic. Fighting over who gets what meal… Who gets to sleep with whom."

My eyebrows rose. " 'Sleep with'?"

Cyrus chuckled. "Yes, Alexa, 'sleep with.' You see, since we don't sleep, we need something to occupy the extra twelve hours we get."

"And you decide to occupy those extra hours with _that_?" I asked incredulously.

"What else is there to do?"

"You can read, go to school, listen to the radio! There's a lot more you can do!"

"Alexa, there will be a day when _that,_ is all people ever think of doing. We may as well get used to it."

I scoffed. "No thank you."

"The norms of society are always changing, Lexa. We must change with it if we wish to fit in."

"How? And why? Why would society want to change _that_? It's supposed to be special. It's supposed to be something that cements a marriage like nothing else can. It's supposed to bring forth children! Why would you want to do _that_ without being married?"

"Well… First off, we can't have children. Everything's frozen, therefore, no chance of pregnancy, and thus, more of _that, _as you like to call it. The only way we have what's close to children is when you change somebody. Technically, I'm your sire, your father, and you are my prodigy, my child. But the majority of us don't usually refer to each other as such."

"Oh…"

"Alexa, you can't tell me that when you slept with Nathaniel you didn't have fun." Cyrus joked, smirking a little.

"The only time I ever… Slept with… Nathaniel was on our honeymoon. After we got back, I found out that I was pregnant, so we didn't do it anymore."

"So how many times? Two? Three?"

If I would have been human, my face would've been on fire. I bit my lip and cast my gaze down. "Three."

He surprised me by throwing his head back and laughing. "Only three? Alexa, that's nothing! You're practically pure!"

"Well, I'm not. I can show you the stretch marks my daughter gave me." I said snarkily.

Cyrus's eyes flashed with something I could only describe as heat- arousal. "I think I'd like to see that."

I gasped. "Did you really think that you could change me and then I just jump into bed with you, Cyrus? Is that it?"

"No, actually. I didn't think we'd even get to the topic of sex within the first day, but you seem to be proving me wrong on all levels."

"Good. Because I do have standards." I turned around and walked out of the living room.

He scoffed, and began to follow me. "And I don't meet the criteria?"

I stopped in the hallway and turned to face him. "I don't know you well enough to know if you meet the criteria."

"Mmm… Then perhaps I should make you see that I meet the criteria."

Within the next second, Cyrus was in front of me, his hands bringing my face up to meet his lips. At first, I fought him, trying to escape his grasp. One of his hands left my cheeks to entangle in my hair at the top of my neck, holding me in place.

Slowly, I began to relax.

His grip loosened, but stayed in place as he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. "Do you want this? I can stop if you want."

I looked into his red eyes for what felt like forever. Then, a slowly shook my head. "No."

He grinned and scooped me up into his arms.

**A/N: Well, there ya go. I was going to add more, but I want your all's opinion about how much detail you wanna get for this story. I know this story is rated M, so I will go into some detail, the rest can be up to you! I'll go by majority, so… Yeah. Anyway, I hope you like it. Oh, and Happy Easter! I'll try to update as soon as I can!**

**Laters,**

**~Em**


	20. You're Not Ready

**A/N: Hello, one and all! Yes, I am alive. For months, this chapter has given me the worst case of writer's block. Within those months, I've gotten my license, had my first job, started my senior year, got accepted into college, moved again, quit my job, and started home school. While I know it's no excuse, I knew that with all of that drama, I would not have been able to give you an adequate chapter, let alone the amazing chapter you all deserve. Not that it matters, considering I couldn't figure out how to get my thoughts onto paper. Then, last night, randomly, I wrote an entire chapter at 1 in the morning and kept writing. It's far from perfect, but it's something at least. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, followed, and read this story. It may not seem like it, but I appreciate it more than words can describe. Now. I've made you wait far longer than you deserve, so… on with the show!**

***Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Twilight Saga. All mistakes are mine!***

**Chapter Twenty: You're Not Ready (APOV)**

Cyrus carried me into my bedroom where he gently dropped me unto the bed and began nibbling on my neck.

"Stop me." he panted at the base of my throat. "Now. Tell me you aren't ready. That you want to wait. _Stop me._"

Did I want that? Did I want him to stop? By saying "no," I prolonged the loneliness. I keep myself in the same situation- nothing would change. But by becoming a vampire, I got a second chance- a second life, even. Literally. I could be the Alexa Benton who lost everyone she touched, or I could be the Alexa Masen I was before, who never experienced pain. Only this time, Alexa Masen with no emotion.

Now, the only thing holding me back from anything and everything I wanted, was a simple word.

"Your silence is answer enough."

As well as a mindset.

Cyrus rolled off of me to lay by my side. I turned my body to face him.

"I'm sorry… I want to. I want to be different, to be happy again. But-"

"Alexa, you don't have to explain it to me. I understand loss. I know what you're going through. I'm not going to force you into something that you are quite obviously not ready for."

"What do you mean you know what I'm going through?" I asked him, honest curiosity to in my voice, no trace of hostility.

Cyrus wouldn't look me in the eye now. "I was married once. A long, long time ago."

"How long ago, exactly?"

"We got married the spring before the plague struck our part of Europe." he responded quietly.

"The plague? As in the Black Death?" I exclaim incredulously.

He nodded solemnly. "The one and the same. My wife, Arria, fell pregnant with our son, Alexander, a few weeks before our village was hit with the first wave. We managed to avoid it until Alexander's second birthday. Around that time, Arria fell ill. Within a few weeks, she was gone. Alexander followed her about a month later. Since my parents passed years before I married Arria, and they never had any more children, I was alone. At the time, I felt pretty lucky that I got sick right about the time Alexander did."

"But obviously you didn't die. Is that when you were changed?"

Cyrus nodded again. "That's when my maker found me, yes. He was posing as a priest at the time." He scoffed at the memory. "When we were alone, he told me he had a secret that could save my life. I remember saying to him: 'I don't want to be saved.' He told me then that it would eventually get better, once the disease died out- literally. Everyone was destined a happy ending."

"What did you tell him?"

Cyrus was quiet for a few minutes before he turned to look me in the eyes. "I told him that I had nothing else to live for, as all my family had died. All because of this disease."

I swallowed hard, and looked away from his intense gaze. "So that's why you turned me?"

"I see myself in you, Lexie. The lost soul, the sad, desperate being who no longer knows happiness. I wanted to help you. Especially considering I know what is waiting for you."

"And what's that?"

"You know I can't tell you. But I promise, you will find out soon, and it'll be worth all of this. It will get better."

"Has it for you?"

He sighed. "Unfortunately, I'm not able to see my own future. I can, as I've repeatedly pointed out, see yours. It'll get better for me. Helping those who are just as lost as I was, and still am in most cases, makes me happy. I'm perfectly fine where I am."

"But it's been- what?- 570 years since it happened. Surely within that time period, you've met someone."

He was shaking his head before I finished. "573, to be exact, and no. Nobody. But maybe eventually."

"Sounds to me like you traded a sad existence that was about to be over for an equally sad existence and immortality."

"Maybe I did. But as I said: helping people like you and me, almost makes up for it."

"Almost being the operative word." I muttered.

"Alexa, focus on your happiness for once, okay? Let me deal with mine. Or, the lack of mine, rather."

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to tame the curls. "Okay."

He smiled and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Thank you."

"Have you ever thought about moving?" Cyrus asked abruptly as he looked around the living room.

"Umm…. I did move. Here. I moved here when Nathaniel passed." I said from my perch in the window as I read a book.

"Not just move houses. States. Away from the constant reminders of the people you have lost."

"No… Not really. After my family, I had to finish school and secure my assets. Then, I started courting Nathaniel, and he had a job with his father's firm. Once he died, I was pregnant, and knew I couldn't raise a baby on my own, so…"

"You stayed." He finished. "What about now? How do you feel about leaving now?"

"Other than my friends and his family…"

"Well, it's not as though it's safe for them if you saw them, though, Alexa. They are humans."

"I know," I said quietly. "It's just that… they've helped me so much. I can't just leave without a word."

"So what do you suggest? A sit-down with one of them?"

"Yes, actually. I could meet with Catherine and tell her that I'm leaving, she could tell the others."

After a minute or two of just staring at me, Cyrus busted into laughter. "Are you serious? Alexa, you are a blood-thirsty, newborn vampire. She has blood pumping through her veins. You don't really think you will be able to have a conversation with her?"

"I do. She's not some blood-bag, Cyrus. She's family. She took me in when nobody else would. I owe her an explanation."

"And what happens when you can't control your thirst, Lexa? Huh?" He was over to me in a second. Cyrus gripped my shoulders to force me to look into his eyes. "You may not have any self control. Chances are slim to none, actually. Are you willing to kill her, make yourself feel worse about yourself, just so you don't hurt her feelings?"

With my eyes locked on his, I replied with: "I won't kill her because she. Is. Family. Surely I'll be able to tell the difference between family and a meal."

"That's the thing, Alexa! You won't! You're senses have never been stronger. The second you smell her bloody you'll be in a frenzy. It takes years, decades even, to get to the point of restraint you are talking about."

"I have to do this, Cyrus."

He threw his hands in the air and turned to walk out of the room. "Fine. But if you kill her, this is all on you. Are you aware of that?"

I nodded calmly. "Very. And I won't kill her."

"We'll see."

Luckily, that day was overcast, so didn't have to worry about any unnecessary sparkling, I'd slid on a blue, long sleeve dress and a black shawl. I left my hair hanging loose and flowy. I walked through the streets of Chicago with my head hung low, eyes cast toward the ground. Red eyes weren't something I could explain to everyone. I had a plan for Catherine- not the entire population of Chicago.

Ten blocks later, I made it to Catherine's house without incident. Her father's car wasn't in the drive, and since it was noon on a Wednesday, I knew her mother was at the weekly DAR meeting at the church. That meant Catherine and I wouldn't be alone. All alone.

Which was both good and bad. For obvious reasons.

On one hand, I wanted to limit any human on vampire contact. Two less people in the house when I told Catherine I was leaving would most likely be better, not to mention having to explain why I was leaving or why my eyes were red to two less people would be very beneficial. Not to mention, save them from potential death, because no matter how nonchalant about this I appeared to Cyrus, I was terrified. That was the other hand. I was utterly terrified that I had way too much confidence in myself, that because Catherine was alone, I would hurt her.

Had I made the right choice? Or should I just accept defeat and go home?

I didn't get a chance to answer my own question.

"Alexa?" Catherine's voice rang out.

I glanced up, in shock that she had caught me off guard.

"Sorry… I was walking by and saw you standing there. Is everything okay?

_No. Not really._

"Umm… ye-" I cleared m'y throat. "-yes. I was hoping to talk to you? For a moment?"

Fortunately, though, her scent hadn't reached me yet. However, if she said "yes" like I was confident she would, I'd be in an enclosed area with her, which could potentially be disastrous.

I looked down at my feet again and despite the urge to look up at her, I kept it that way.

"Of course. Come on in. You know you are always welcome here."

I smiled crookedly, even though I knew she'd probably not be able to see it, and followed her into the house. Now that I was close enough, I could smell her. For a second, it took my breath away. The sweet aroma filled my sinuses and the air around me and I lost my head.

I had to convince myself that I would not kill her, my only living, sort of family. _Not a blood-bag. Family. Not a blood-bag. Family. _

"Can I get you some tea?" she asked, stepping around me, seemingly unaware of my struggle.

"Uh, no. No thank you. But feel free to get some for yourself."

"No, I'm okay. Why don't we sit in the living room?"

I took her lead and started for the living room. She sat down on the couch, leaving me to sit on the love seat across from her. I decided to jump right into it.

"So what's wr-"

"Catherine, I may be leaving for a while. Soon." I interrupted her. I still kept my eyes down.

"What? Why?" she exclaimed.

"Umm… I'm different now, Catherine. I need a change of scenery that doesn't involve constant reminders and painful memories." _Gah… _I'd run out of the breath I didn't know I was holding as I fed her Cyrus's excuse. Slowly, painfully, I took another, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Lexie, that's okay. We can help you." she said, leaning forward. I scooted farther into the cushions.

"No, you can't, Caty." I whispered, finally looking up at her. "You really can't."

She gasped. "Lexie… your ey-"

"I know. It's a side effect. Look… I came here to tell you that I was leaving… I don't know when- or if- I'll be back. So, I'll need you to tell everyone that I'm okay. I just needed to leave."

No air again. Inhale breath, swallow the flames.

"But-"

"Catherine, I'm doing this to protect _you, _okay? I needed you to know that I am okay and that I will forever be grateful towards you for helping me. But I need to help you now. Me leaving is beneficial to all of you in ways you could never know. I'm not safe anymore. Do you understand?"

Dazed, she nodded and leaned back into her seat.

"Do you promise to tell the others?"

Again she nodded.

"Okay." I stood up. "I promise to keep in touch through letters, but I don't when I'll be able to see you again."

She stood up and before I could stop it, she wrapped me in her arms, thrusting my face into her neck.

All of a sudden, my internal chanting halted. My gaze became fixed on the pulsing artery within her bared neck. All sense of reasoning left the room, the house, the state. No more humanity. That wicked voice in the back of my head called out: _She's offering herself… Nobody will ever know it was you… Just a taste… _

I licked my lips.

That's when Catherine pulled away.

I snapped out of my murderous daydreamed and looked to my crying best friend whom I nearly just killed.

"You're so cold…"

"Yes," I smiled sadly, trying to keep her neck out of my sight. "Another side effect. I couldn't imagine anybody else better qualified to look out for me, Catherine. I'll always be indebted to you." I began to back out of the house. "I promise to write whenever I get wherever I'm going, And you better write back!"

She laughed through her tears. " I promise. And I'll tell the Bentons. They'll be worried otherwise. Heck, _I'm_ going to be worried."

"Don't be. I'll be okay."

"I love you, Alexa."

"I love you more, Catherine."

And with that, I walked away from my past and the only family I had left.

**A/N: I got a lot of reviews worried about how Cyrus could take advantage of Alexa in her weakened state. Don't ya know me better than that? Cyrus is really a good guy. **

**What did you all think about his story? Speak to you enough? It literally came out nowhere, but I loved it. And definitely how I see Cyrus.**

**Tell me your opinions, or not, I completely understand. I hope you loved it anyway.**

**Again, I'm incredibly sorry for the freakishly long wait, and I hope that it never happens again. **

**Thank you to all who read. **

**~Em**


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